Never Forget Them

Time for change

2007-12-06T02:36:00.000+08:00

After 2 years, time for a change. =) http://untilthedaycomes.wordpress.com
seeya guys there! =)

amazing

2007-09-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

thousand apologies to those that pop by but never get to see new content. =P Hehe. But here's another post. Hoho.

Anyway, today during service, was truely an amazing time of seeing God move despite of the iniquities i have, and how limited a human i was. Just an encouragement to all those out there reading this. When you're like searching for God, and just searching and searching, and the world just tells you so many other things, and you so wanna give up. DON'T. Keep pressing on. Keep seeking after Him. Keep running after Him. When you do that, He'll blow your world away with His presence. When you really seek after Him when you just don't feel like anymore, that's when God can really show you how awesome, how amazing, and how wonderful He is in your life.

Just a short testimony. I was praying through and seeking God for the worship order just now. It's not like i last minute prepare know. I did it a week before, starting to pray about it already. And then finally, got a set of songs that i was convicted of on tuesday. Then friday came. Ern suddenly told me that 2 of the songs didn't really flow. I was like "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" in my head. Just a few more hours to megalife service. WHAT AM I TO DO?! AH!!

I really was quite disturbed. I went home and started praying to God, and really seeking after His ways. Thought i should change to some other songs. But had some other views from sam also. I was one confused kid man. To make matters worse, during practise just now, the songs JUST didn't flow. The whole thing was just bleah. and "I long to worship you" was really very draggy and stuff. I was really at my wits end, and reeeally very tired liao. I was like "God, you really need to take over. There's nothing i can do already". I asked the team to pray for me. And worship started. God just took over from there. The songs i chose, only 2 were used lar. The rest were all thrown out of the window.

So when you think "i can't go on anymore", or just "where are you...?". Hang in there.. Really. Hang in there.. The reward of seeing His face is so much more in worth than the pain and bleahness you have to go through during that seeking and struggling period.

Hang in there.. =)

Sharing Life

2007-08-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

Hmm, don't know where to start for this post. I think after today's cell session, in many ways, i've realised that SK2, i love you guys a lot. =) Over the months, after cell sessions, outings, and just stuff we do together, i've grown to really love you guys a lot. And you guys really mean a lot to me. Every Single One of you, from Ming Wei, Ivan, Le Joy, Jeremy, Naomi, Joshua, Zachary, Anastasia, Debra, Zhen Hao, and even Jin Tao. Every one of you matter to me. Every Single One. Firstly, thank YOU for being such a wonderful bunch of cell members. Really a privilege to be serving you guys, and just helping you with whatever i can to help you grow closer to God.

Ya know, my desire, is to truly see you guys grow SO close to God. To really be able to say it with all your heart " I am His, and He is mine ". And through the months, i've seen some of you grow in the things of God. But i know you guys have so much more room for growth. And i believe you guys can really be awesome man and woman of God. To be the ones to reach out for Him, and be an inspiration to those around you.

But these things doesn't start from nothing. It has to start somewhere. And that has to be that secret place you have your intimate moments with God. Not saying you guys aren't doing it, but i feel in general, this is what our cell lacks. To really take time to know God more. Taking time to listen to His voice.
And after spending time with Him, and really having that deep desire and hunger for
God, what is in your heart? Is there sin in your heart? If there's sin, no matter how much we desire, how much we hunger, in particular, being pure, we cannot be used by God. And that's where the blockage comes in. Keep clear from sin, and stay on the safe side of being pure. Pure in thought, pure in speech, pure in actions, pure in your way of life, and the list goes on.
And if those 2 are seemingly fine, are there issues in your heart that hasn't been resolved? Many a times things start from the heart. So ask yourself, "How's my heart today?"When things are resolved in the heart, other areas including sin are much easier to handle. It doesn't become easy, but it's easier. =)

You know, having an intimate relationship with God, so many ways and stuff. But ultimately, i think it boils down to just this 2 simple things. Your desire, and your purity. So people, let's get back to our rooms, our secret place, and just seek after Him alright? =)

tomodachi-friend-nakama

2007-08-10T00:07:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Jialin, thank you for that watch. Haha, it means aaaaaaaaaaaalot to me. waahaha. And i really appreciate it.

Alright, now on to the post. Ya know, a lot of times, i think we forget that our friends are humans too. I mean, any friend, your best friend, your good friend, your friend overseas. Ya know, just friend, tomodachi, nakama. (All mean friend in jap. or sort of. haha)

I was watching this anime called One Piece. Haha, my final moments of "freedom", so better make full use of it. Hee. So anyway, just a brief summary of those few episodes. There's this talking reindeer who had a blue nose. He was treated as an outcast in his reindeer family, He tried to blend in with the humans but was treated as though he was a monster. He was so dejected and was on the verge of dying cause he got shot while escaping from the humans. Then there was this super weird guy who was a doctor. He was really concerned about that reindeer and wanted to treat it. But in the mind of the reindeer, that wasn't possible, and started to attack the doctor. Then you know what the doctor did to show that he wasn't a threat? He took of all his clothes "I Don't Mean any harm!!". Super farnie AND ridiculous. But it showed true concern, in a really weird way. Anyway this reindeer, finally had someone that cared. A friend.

K why am i talking about some talking reindeer? Basically, it's linked to the present i got. For some time, i guess most of us kinda take our friends for granted. Not that we make use of them or anything of that sort. But ya know, just neglecting them for lack of a better word. Do your friends matter? Or family for that matter. Do they matter to you? When's the last time you ever told them that they matter? Cause today, i felt like i matter to someone. And i'm blessed by it. So why not go bless someone? Tell them how much they really mean to you.

Friends =)

You are the Music in Me

2007-07-24T10:53:00.000+08:00

I thought it'd be nice to have some light content once in awhile. Here's High School Musical 2 for you. "You are the Music in Me". =)

God is faithful

2007-07-14T00:12:00.000+08:00

A note to my birthday, haha, dinner was ok. But i really appreciated Samuel and Jeanette bringing me for dinner. Like seriously, it was the highlight on my birthday. Haha.

Well, at this point of time, i'd like to thank everyone who prayed for me regarding my entry to FASS for Psychology, cause ya know what..? I GOT IT!! I REALLY GOT IT!!
Hahahahhahah! God really is a faithful God. I don't know what to say, but He really is.

I'm a living testimony of God's faithfulness, and that He cares. He hears our prayers. And He's just amazing. It's like my best birthday present yet. haha. God's just awesome. Wahahha.

And to add on to that, i realised it's a surprise belated birthday present for me! After being so sianed of the "surprise" on weds (which i still appreciate you guys k), i think God planned it to be like this, so i can surprised. Oh my gosh, He is sooo amazing. *Hugs* Gosh! Woo i'm gushing or something. Hee.

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight"

Amen!

21 years of my life

2007-07-13T01:27:00.000+08:00

21 years of my life has just passed. You know, i was actually quite sad for my birthday, later which i'll explain why. But now i've come to realise, that there's so much more to this 21st birthday than what i thought. And guess where the best birthday present came from?

Here's a present for you.

Love, Your heavenly Dad.

*opens up present*

I see a scrap book, and i turn to the page Family:

Since primary school, i've always been doted by my grandmother. She'd buy me toys, toys, and more toys! She'd even endure the long and arduous bus journey EVERY SINGLE DAY to fetch me home from a faraway place called TOA PAYOH. But even now, she still loves me loads. Wants me to eat, gives me money when i don't want them, and the list goes on...

My mum has always been my support. She supported me in everything i do. And still supports me. She trusts me so much, i don't know how much more trust can be given than what she already has. Everyday i see her quiet and steadfast spirit working in her life, raising me up to be who i am today...

My brother, if without him, i probably might not have become a worship leader today. He left me with so much..

Then i turned the pages of memories and got to the page called School:

Throughout my 21 years of life in school, i realised that i've been really blessed. God's hand was always upon me, and still is even when i didn't feel that He was. From PSLE results, to O level results, to A level results. Since young, i haven always gotten to where i wanted to go. Pei Chun Primary School, Victoria School, Victoria Junior College, NUS. Never did it once deviate from where i wanted to go. Even my results show the hands of God.

Ruffling through the pages, i stumble upon the section called Ministry:

Ever since i started joining PNW (aka Worship and Music Ministry), i have never stopped until now, lest 1 break in between. That's a whopping 7-8 years of ministry. God has grown my ministry, He pruned me, moulded me, broke me, into who i am today. I enjoy what i'm doing, but more importanly, i'm so glad i can serve Him with something that's close to my heart.

I flipped to the end of the book, the page was named Thanksgiving, and had a few empty pages after that, so i decided to write them down here:

Looking back at my life, i can now say with full confidence, that God's hand and blessings were upon me. He has my interets at heart, and He loves me so much.Reminiscing and thinking about the past, i see God's hand on every single aspect of my life. From the few things i just mentioned, to things like relationships, how i dealt with them, my struggles, my fears, my insecurities, my WHOLE LIFE, was never out from the sight of God. I thank God for putting friends into my life that pulled me through the darkest periods of my life. I thank God for making me who i am today. I thank God for so so many things. As compared to people who do not know the Lord, what more can i ask for? Except for God to "Cast me not away from thy presence o Lord, take not thy Holy Spirit from me, restore unto me, the joy of my salvation, and renew a right spirit within me". These words don't do justice to what God has done for me for the past 21 years, but with full gratitude, i want to say "Thank You" to the best Dad ever.

I will be lying if i said my birthday surprise was great. I appreciated the efforts, especially Ern, Sherron, Sherman and those that made so much sacrifices just to be there. Persis and Huiying too ok. I appreciated every single one of you. But it was just very sianed if you get what i mean, having a surprise spoilt. To add on to that, i didn't even do anything note worthy things the whole day. Blading, ok, dinner, ok. What's so special about such things "I thought". I was pretty sad. Adding on to the fact that the number of presents was shockingly little. Haha. I was sad. I was disappointed. But only after Samuel Low said during dinner
"21 is a very special year, i think the best ever birthday present you can get, is the work God has done in your life" (paraphrased as close as possible according to my limited memory).

That was a revelation. A divine one at that. Only then did i realise, well, yeah humanly speaking, i had quite a bad birthday. But i think spiritually, i had an awesome birthday, and the best birthday present i could ever get.

"Lord i'm amazed by You, Lord i'm amazed by You, Lord i'm amazed by You, how You love me"

Amen.

In the light of eternity

2007-06-24T07:22:00.000+08:00

You know, it's funny how after really wanting something, and when you kinda get it, it seems so pointless? I think right now, what's describing my feelings can be summarised under this verse by King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 1:1, "Meaningless meaningless, everything is meaningless!"

It's not like i can suddenly forsake the world or anything of that sort. Far be it from me to do such a thing since we were called to be in the world (and not of it). But it's the kind of feeling, where everything that i value, kinda seemed really small in the light of eternity. Ever wondered how it's like in heaven? Where you'd replay your life history, and see what you've done? Imagine the number of hours i spent on World of Warcraft, that's quite disgusting actually, now that i look back and see how drawn i was to some moving pixels in the world of virtual reality.

It really struck me, during cell group, we were talking about some stuff, but benel (if that's how i spell his name, apologies if i'm wrong!), was talking about stuff, but he said this one thing, even though it wasn't his point, or sub point, it was just how he kinda phrased his sentence O_O, which was " In the light of eternity ".
Before it sounds all yoda-ish or something, i thought that made a lot of sense. In the light of eternity, how is what you're doing of value? Or is it just another meaningless chase after the things of the world?

Well, let me clarify first, i don't think enjoying yourself, being interested in who your life partner is, and the list goes on, these things are bad or anything along that line. But how much time are you spending on such thoughts, or actions? Well, now that i'm reaching 21, all the "relationship" talk is like getting more rampant than i thought it would. Well it's actually quite interesting to talk about it. Haha. But at the end of the day, i wonder, how much of these times where i'm talking about stuff or maybe just doing things, are pointing to Him. I actually cover myself in shame when i think about what i do in the light of eternity, has been so fruitless and insignificant.

Just an encouragement to those seeking bf/gfs, don't worry alright? God has everything under control. He really does. If you go through the rat race of just looking for a life partner, you've missed the point. Least that's what i went through. Keep your eyes focused on Jesus. Instead of worrying, use that time to start praying.

And to those who spend millions of hours online/watching tv. K that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the drift. Nothing wrong with being online and watching tv, i myself am one that's online pretty often. But i urge everyone, this being a reminder to myself too, to see this in the light of eternity. Is it worth it to spend so much time on it?

Matthew 6:33 " Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. " So what's the value of (insert activity), in the light of eternity..?

Continuation

2007-05-11T12:05:00.000+08:00

Harlow. Haha, i realised i didn't talk about some other characters that i mentioned. Which is kinda weird, so well, here they are, so make it more complete.

Seung Wan's Dad : Remember i told you that Seung Wan's dad was always scolding/chiding or reprimanding Seung Wan? Well, if you watch the show, you'd know he's doing it in love. In a relationship, especially parent/child or someone older/younger, this element of love will actually come in. It's called discipline. In a love relationship, it's not always those sweet and goo goo gah gah things. Sometimes discipline is required. Just like how our Daddy in heaven loves us, He can't just pamper us, if not, we'll never grow. And sometimes when we need to be disciplined, well, it has to be done then. So when you get scolded, tough as it might be to accept it. Try to. Don't ever hate your parents or whoever for it. Know that they're doing it out of love. Of course, i'm talking in the general disciplining sense, and not the torture kind. Yeah. =) Maybe today you can tell your parents, Thank you for disciplining me. =) hoho

Chae Young : I really didn't like this girl. She was so selfish, she two timed, she wanted to break Seung Wan and Se Jin up even after the 2 got married. Like what the?! So this character, even though she grew ok at the end, i'll be talking about what love is not from her. Well, love's definitely not about satisfying your own desires only. Remember when i talked about love is about the other person? Yar. nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. But don't go around manipulating people to love you. Not that you will, but that's the extreme. On a more suttle sense, it can be when people don't love you, or reciprocate the way you want, you feel hurt and sianed. Well, i would too. But if they actually did something, isn't that enough? Don't expect from man, cause in the end, you'll only be more and more disappointed. Just receive whatever's given to you in grace, and be thankful for it. That way, your life will be much more easy and happy. =)

Shin Bi : What can we learn from Shin Bi. Haha, besides her being ultra duperly cute, i like the straightforwardness and candidness because of her childlike attitude to things. When you love someone, (besides the person you like), just tell the person! I'm not talking about confessing your love. That's a whole different topic. I'm talking about the people you care about. Your friends, your family. Never stop to just tell them how much you appreciate them. WHen she was sad, she'll show it. When she was happy, she'll show it. When you're not happy with someone, talk about it peacefully. Don't just keep it in your heart and let anger or other things grow. Always keep a short account of such feelings, cause it'll only spoil the relationship if it gets harboured for too long. What if it's a hurt that's been lodged inside for very long? I suggest you start talking to someone about it. Cause ultimately, God commanded us to forgive. Just as He forgave us, so should we forgive those that have hurt us. Now, sometimes it might seem we're letting them off the hook, or like, it's not fair to just forgive the person. And you might very well have a valid reason to feel that way too. But think about it. your unforgiveness only serves to eat you from the inside. It doesn't do to the person anything at all. They aren't affected. And think about how unworthy we were, but God still chose to die on the cross for our sins. We didn't deserve it. the thing is we DID NOT DESERVE IT, yet he CHOSE to forgive us. So same thing, that person that hurt you might not deserve it. But you've got to CHOOSE to forgive him. K? think about it.

Alright, so this kinda concludes the whole thing about Wonderful Life, and some stuff about love. Haha. It's not complete of course, but just think about some of the points i guess. =) lotz people!

It's all about love

2007-05-07T23:57:00.000+08:00

Hihi all decided to post cause i wanted to take a break watching my anime. And well, it's been in my head recently. Especially after watching Wonderful Life. haha

Now now, we all call this weird thing that makes your heart melt, or maybe for some it might mean it hurts a lot at the sound of it. It's called love. Ooh. love you say. Alright, now, so is love a good thing, a bad thing, or depends? I believe love was created for good. I mean, God is love, and well, God's good. So love's good right? Definitely. But why do some people say things like "Love sucks?" well, cause in this fallen world, no one's perfect, so human love is of course, imperfect too. And because of that, people get hurt, either cause of the lack of love, or wrong expressions of love, or whatever, the list goes on. So this whole thing about love, has to be good.

Well, what kinda love is there. Basically there's only one. But it can be to different people, in different forms, but ultimately, it boils down to just loving the person. So is it a feeling then? Well, i've gotta say no. Cause if it's a feeling, then won't loving someone depend on our feeling? That's pretty scary, cause what if God feels angry? Won't He likes blast me with a lightning bolt? Brr, i woulnd't want that. I believe feelings can make you love a person easier, but it's not dependant on it. Yup. Ok so enough with definitions and stuff.

Alright, today, i'm gonna talk about love to well, ya noe.. those kind. =P Haha, relational love! Woo! So interesting. Least i find it super intriguing, and puzzling at the same time. But here i go! So well, i watched Wonderful Life. For all those that have not, here's a little overview. Cause i'm going to use the characters for some illustration. Alright, basically, there's this guy Seung Wan (the guy in the photo), and Se Jin (the girl in the photo), that kinda had a one night stand, and gave birth to their baby, Shin Bi (the little girl in the photo). So they were forced to get married. But Seung Wan initially didn't like Se Jin, cause he liked someone else, Chae Young. And there's this guy that was with Chae Young at first. But they broke up, and he kinda grew feelings for Se Jin after some time. That guy's Do Hyun. However, unlike Chae Young who wanted to break Se jin and Seung Wan up, Do Hyun was always there for Se Jin, and didn't want her to be sad. Ok, then Seung Wan actually grew to like Se Jin as the show progressed, however, there was a defining moment. He said "I'll try to love you as much as Shin Bi.. Care for you.." Gosh was it touching. But anyway, yar. Can you see why it was a defining moment? Well i'll come to that in a moment. Then there's Seung Wan's dad. In the show, you'll always see him scolding Seung Wan, cause Seung Wan's really immature. Alright, now we'll see what we can learn from different characters.

Seung Wan : Remember the defining moment i was talking about? "I'll try to love you as much as Shin Bi.. Care for you.." Alright. From this, it can be seen that, love is actually a choice. We have to choose to love. In a relationship, it doesn't mean you'll always like the person. Nor will there always be sweet or nice times. However, if you want to keep the relationship (whatever kinds), you've got to choose to love today. Don't like feelings overtake you. Feelings are not bad. But you can't just rely on them. If you do, that's when relationships fall apart.

Se Jin : Se Jin, in the whole show, showed that she loved Shin Bi A LOT. Like SUPER A LOT. And she loved Seung Wan too. Now, she showed her love through her actions. Faith without actions is dead. I believe when you love someone, it's gotta be shown too. Might not be actions actions, but words too. Se Jin actually quit her dream of becoming a diplomat, so she could pay for bills and Seung Wan for his studies. That's called sacrifice. Which i'll talk more when i talk about Do Hyun.

Do Hyun : Alright, this guy's the gentleman, and nice and rich and blah. You get the drift. But what's to be learnt from this guy, is that even though he likes Se Jin, he didn't break Seung Wan and Se Jin up. He was always there for her, but never having the intention to break them up. As long as there's a smile on Se Jin's face, he'd be happy. Sacrificial love. When you talk about love, you've got to know, that it should be about the other person. Not about us. Love is outward looking. not inward looking. Always seek to bless others. That's the gist of loving. Then you must be thinking "But isn't that wrong, keep loving, and i dun get any? like the heck?!" well, it's not wrong wanting to be love. But remember what i said, love is a choice, you can't force the other person to love you right? You shouldn't and can't anyway. But if you love the person, more often than not, that person will love you back. But in the event that that doesn't happen, you've got to run back to the only one that can provide unfailing love. That's God.

Well, to all the boys and girls out there who wants to go into a relationship. I remember when i was your age. So did i! Haha, and i still want to anyway. =P But how ready are you? You might think "Hey, i'm ready k". Well, that was what i thought when i was your age too. And maybe, there might be some that really are ready. But let me ask you this. How's your relationship with God? I think if you really want to get into a relationship, that's the basic question you need to ask. If you're like not even close to God, don't think about it. Know why? Cause your life will be in a mess! In the relationship, God's got to be the center of it all. Not the love you have for her, or feelings, or whatever, God has to be. And if He's not in yours, how can He be in the relationship. Nownow, you might think all these are bull, or "hey but that uncle of mine got married and is still together now with his wife what!". How many of such cases are there? And you're gonna assume it to be your case too? Think probability. Not likely to happen. But you say "But i'm different ok, i'll make it happen". Well, i had those thoughts before too. But that thought itself is flawed. "i'll make it happen". Now where's God in the whole thing? Remember, God has to be there. A relationship can still happen, but if God's not there, it won't be blessed. Get what i mean?

Now, another thing is that, when i was young, people kept saying "your ideals will change, your thinking will change". And i said "No it won't. i'll make sure it doesnt". And i meant it with all my heart k! But hey, it still changed. THings i thought were important, doesn't look that important to me anymore. So, that's why it's better if you're more settled, then find the person you like. If not, it'll just end in a break up again. So ask yourself this. what do you want in life, or in the relationship? If it's "to love the person, to get married..." only, which are good thoughts. But if God's not the number one, you might wanna reconsider.

Alright, hope i'm not losing people as you continue reading this. Some of you might be in a relationship now. Maybe some word of advice i guess. Especially for guys that get jealous really easily. Ever wondered why you get jealous easily? Hmm, are you firm in your identity in God today? Do you believe He really holds your tomorrow? Do you have trust in your partner? In love, there must be trust. If there isn't, i can't see how it can continue. So this day, choose to know who you are in God. Your identity comes from who God thinks you are. Not who your partner thinks you are, even though that is something nice and good. =)

I think a good gauge, to know if you're ready, is when you come to realise "hey, God's the only one that can satisfy me". And that you know even if you don't have someone, it's okay cause God loves you. I'm not saying that you won't have feelings of wanting a partner, or being attracted to people you find attractive. The feelings will still be there~ Cause i know mine are.

So well, i hope this short little post made sense. Take care!!

A day in a new life

2007-04-23T14:31:00.000+08:00

Today's a monday. Most people are either mugging, in school studying (or falling asleep), or working. But here i am at home. No i'm not slacking. I'm resting. Hehehe. And i want to thank God so much for this time of rest. Cause i'm enjoying ever single moment of it. Some people can't stand "not doing anything" or "slacking", but i thank God for the gift of being able to enjoy simple things in life.

At this point, i really enjoy my life. Not just cause i have been resting and enjoying myself. But because i'm loving spending time with God. i don't know how, i think it was a build up of events, from the start of NLE, up to Taiwan mission trip, until i came back. Gradually, i was drawn to God more and more. Don't ask me how, i think it's the grace of God that brought me here. And i'm enjoying every moment i spend with Him. I'm beginning to feel His presence so much more. I'm beginning to hear His voice more clearly. But this isn't the end. I believe it's just the start of what's more to come, and i really can't wait for it!

What i did realise and learn, was that, to enjoy the intimate relationship with God, i think we have to start by leaving our baggages and our sin behind. Not that it's just a *wave magical wand* and *poof* baggages and strongholds of sin in your life disappear. But it has to start somewhere. Personally for me, i think it was forgiveness that held an uber stronghold in me. It led me to be insecure (not that i'm super secure now, but i'm happy to be who i am now, and learning to love myself more as God wanted me to), and also had strongholds on other things. Sin a lot of times are result of the baggages we carry. From the book, entitled "It came from within" by Andy Stanley, it talks about 4 monsters we might have in our hearts. Primarily Guilt, Anger, Greed and Jealousy. And usually these 4 monsters make it really hard for us to really come back to the intimate relationship with God. Cause either it affects us so much we can't be intimate with Him, or it leads us into sin, which also causes us to not be able to draw close to Him. Only when we have the fear of God, can we draw close to Him, and sin doesn't allow us to fear Him. So this day, what's holding you back? Are you asking things like "i want to be close to God, but why don't i have the desire?", "i don't want to do this, but why do i keep falling into it over and over again?", "i don't wanna feel this way, why does it keep coming back?!", "i really want to be close to you God, but why can't i feel you? why don't i 'enjoy' it? ". If those are what you're going through, deal with the monsters from within first. I recommend that book, i think it'll help. So yeah. =)

And now i can roughly understand what it meant to "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be unto you". Or when Solomon actually wrote, "Meaningless, Meaningless, utterly meaningless! everything's meaningless!". You might wonder, what's the relation between these 2 verses. Well, i'll talk about what King Solomon said first. Now i really realise, that without God, really my life would be so meaningless. It is when i'm in His presence that i feel so loved, so alive, so real, and words just can't explain the things i feel. And when i seeked more of Him, He blessed me with "these things shall be added unto you". Simple things like being more confident in my ministry, leadership, having fun with friends, being contented. I'm not saying i'm the best at these things, but i'm growing more and more in it.

To whoever reads this blog, you might say "But hey, you're a worship leader leh. You have so much going for you, of course you can say such things about God lar. How bad can your life be man..." True, i might have some things that have been good for me in human terms, but i had my struggles too, and it was for year after years, before i can say i really enjoying being in His presence. It wasn't easy. Some of you might also say "You don't know what i'm going through". Yeah, you're right. I might not know what you're going through. Whatever you went through, or are going through, might even be valid reasons for you to feel the way you feel. But how long do you want to be kept imprisoned by it? It's your choice. You might think "but i dun have a choice!", well i'm here to say, You do have a choice. So choose to come out from where you are today, and be where God wants you to be. "How?" You start by making a choice first. Seek help. Get rid of the monsters in you.

I wish all a good life! Hoho

A New Beginning

2007-03-29T14:49:00.000+08:00

I have so so much to say after so long. Haha. 3 months or so. Well, lots have happened. Lots of good things. Hehe. And i'll write them down now. Anyway, Mia, if you're reading, read on yar? There’s a part i'll be talking about Taiwan. Wooo, so here i go!

Well, from December onwards, to January, it was quite a roller coaster ride for me. JUst the 1st week of January, i had this like super big scale logistics check that would affect my unit quite a bit. And like got so many things to do. Like i had to come back during my leave and stuff also. Even on saturday and stuff, which i didn't like at all. But oh well, the check came anyway, and that 4 days were really terrible man. Felt so stressed and everything. But as all things, it passed and it was finally over! The most important thing in my last month of army life was over. like finally, i've been waiting so so so long for that to happen. And just like that, it was over. A sense of relief that's kinda indescribable kinda came to me and yay! Haha

Well then, that’s that for the last part of my army days, cause after that, I was on off and leave (which means I did not have to go to camp) until the day of my ORD. I’ve enjoyed my rest up till now, and still am. Here, I’d like to encourage those who might be going through crappy moments. Throughout this whole army experience, no matter how bad it was, I realized that God was always there for me. Sometimes I might not have felt it. Sometimes it might have been really bad. Which has happened quite a few times, but He was always there, be it the revelation kind of “Lord you’re here”, or sometimes, just that quiet presence that understood what I was going through, He was there.

Through my whole journey in the army, I’d like to thank a few that have blessed my life, and kept my sanity in check when I thought I’d lose it.

John : Dude, you’ve really been a really big big blessing to me throughout the period I’ve known you. Especially during army, your words of encouragement, your belief in me for being a good officer (which I treasured a lot, and hope I did not fail you in that), your attentive ears that was willing to listen anytime, your care and concern, and never tired of meeting me when I needed it, or wanted them, especially during my OCS first few months, that were really quite a hellish experience in some ways. Thank you for sharing my joy when I commissioned, when I got gold for my IPPT, and just being the wonderful friend you are to me. Thank you. Now that you’re in Australia, I won’t be able to go out with you, but I want you to know, I really treasure this friendship a lot, and I want you to know, I’ll be here for you. I’ll make an effort to call you and stuff, but now it’s probably the other way round since you’ve school, and I don’t for the moment. But I want to keep in contact and stuff k? Miss you dude.

Lydia : Thanks for everything. You’ve never been condemning or judgmental everytime I complained about the army. You were always supportive and understanding, and it really helped me a lot through this whole journey. We might not meet up a lot, nor talk a lot like how we could during JC days, but you’re still someone I can trust, and confide in, and share stuff with whenever we meet up. Thank you for everything. And I hope we’ll continue to grow together in this friendship. Thank you. =)

Abby : Throughout this whole period, I think we kinda grew further, in my kinda terms, not yours if you get what I mean. But nonetheless, I’d like to thank you for the things you’ve done. I still remember a sentence you said “If it’s not tough, then where got call training”, or something like that. That kinda helped me through whenever I faced really tough physical situations. I’d have complained a lot more if not for that, and so, thank you. Thank you for the support you’ve shown me throughout this whole period too. I know you went through quite a lot yourself, so thanks for giving whatever you got. Especially during the period where my auntie passed away, the offer of wanting to come over was something I really appreciate. Thank you. Hope I can be a support for you even as you take on the A’s this year. “I’ll be there for you”.

Jialin : Jialin, thank you for being so supportive of me throughout my whole army life too. Still got the message where you said something like “ know you’re still doing duty or something, hope all’s well” and stuff like that. Those messages were little things that kept me going, and brought smiles to my face whenever I was in camp. You’re still a friend that I treasure, so let’s keep in contact even when you’re in America alright? =)

Samuel Low : Thanks for everything man, your advice were of great insight. And thank you for always being available to talk when I needed to. On top of that, thank you for being a great friend and mentor that you are.

Joylynn : Thanks for always urging me on to hang on to God. Thank you for the times you messaged me to spur me on in my army days. Those were things that kept me going and brought smiles to my face too. Thank you for being there when I needed it. =)

Natalie : Your smiles on Saturday have always been something that I look forward to every Saturday. They were warm and sweet. And they always made my days on Saturday. Thanks for being willing to listen when I had to talk. I still remember I had a really terrible Saturday one time, and while walking you home, that talk helped me a lot. Thank you. =)

Sherman : For tolerating all the nonsense that I release every Saturday. Haha~ You’ve been a wonderful listener. So thank you. Hehe. Hope all’s well in SAJC, and get to know more friends! Enjoy your stay there, while remember to be consistent in your work yeah?

Okay, I know there must be more than these people, and I thank all for being part of my life. Just that I can’t really remember all now. So, for whoever’s name’s not on it, you’re not forgotten k! Just that it’d be a bit too many if I list down all. Haha.

Alright, let’s now talk about what happened after I came out from the army. This will be kinda short. Well, I’ve been enjoying life. Some days more than others. But in general, I’ve been resting. And I really really like it loads! The freedom that I experience is like so sweet and so fragrant you can almost smell it! From here, something can be learnt. That is a lot of times, we treasure the things only after we lose it. Well, for me, I’ve always liked my freedom. But to have it taken away, and given back to me, felt like my personal haven on earth. So treasure what you have, especially the things you don’t want to lose.

I’ve been playing games, doing lots of sports, ministry, and stuff like that. Went to Korea for a holiday with my family. It was great~ Had lots of fun there. Went ski-ing for the first time in my entire life! Enjoyed my time there.
Oh then after that, I called some schools to do relief teaching. And guess what? Tampines Secondary called me~ And that’s Kimberly and Merril’s school lar. I even thought their class! Haha, so interesting right. But I did realize that teaching isn’t going to be easy. I mean, the sec 1 class was terrible lar! And the sec 3s. I didn’t recall my class being SO rowdy ok. Like oh my gosh. But oh well. We’ll see when the time comes for me to really teach. =)

Fast forward it a bit, then came Taiwan Trip. Lemme try to put this through in Chinese. Haha. 不知不覺，很快就來到我得去台灣的時候了。本來還不是很興奮的。就只想趕快結束，然後回去新加坡休息。應為去台灣之前，我在做很多的東西，忙得沒完沒了。感覺去台灣也是其中的一個　“噢，我得去台灣“　那樣的感覺。但是，一到了高雄，見到burger 和susan，他們都很親切。就讓我感到很舒服。然後就到了夜市場。在那兒，挖，見到poo, Stephen, howard, 玨哥，lily, 挖，全都好熱情喔！之後再玩那丟圈圈的東西時，也看到恩了。你們都非常的友善，和熱親。在那一刻后，就麽了那“噢，我得去台灣“　那樣的感覺了。臭豆腐還真的好臭啊！哈哈~

然後過幾天，就開始習慣在台灣的生活了。食物還真的非常好吃喔！每一餐都吃得津津有味~ 這裡要感謝 Liang An 和 Howard, 經常抽空來陪我們去吃東西。第2 天也有機會和Bo Yu, Liang An, Eric，Stephen, Howard, Pastor Johannes 踢球。雖然你們不怎麽喜歡踢球，但應為知道我們喜歡，就帶我們去踢，I’m really touched by your actions and accommodation to us. I really appreciate it. 在踢球時我非常享受。謝謝！

然後過一天就見到Andy 了。我認爲你的英文和華文都講的很好。翻譯事業非常厲害。*鼓掌* 也很喜歡跟你聊天。你對你周圍的人都很細心。And you’re always thinking how you can help us. Really appreciate your heart to serve us, and just to make us feel more comfortable. And thanks for the scooter ride! It was really fun~ hee. I’ve felt that you love people a lot too, especially for your sheep, and I pray that the fire you have for God will not dwindle, but you’ll continue to live the life God wants you to live.

在這八天中，Howard 不管另一天有考試，還是沒事做，都會晚上帶我們去吃東西。除此之外，your heart to really want to serve, and always being so helpful, has really touched my heart, and to make me understand what serving (服侍) really means. 你有時也挺冷的。很好喔！呵呵。

Bo Yu, 在台上和你談音樂的時候，能感覺到你那非常 sensitive heart. 雖然語言上，和動作上比較難溝通，但是你還是能support me, and feel where I’m going during worship. 我的祈求，is that your sensitive heart towards God will continue to grow, and that your love for your people will continue to grow too. Together with your relationship with God to grow deeper and deeper everyday.

還有，就是Lily 和 Susan. 每天風雨不改，都會帶我們到這裡啊，那裏啊。戴我們去玩。去逛街。去吃東西。我們雖然每次都有遲到，但你們都沒有怨言。總是以微笑來對這我們。你們的笑容，都充滿愛，令人在你們的當中感到非常舒服。謝謝你們日夜不停的服侍，I’m really touched by it. And I really appreciate all that you’ve done.

雁婷，Kai Jun, 和其他幾位，你們都好冷，好好笑喔！哈哈，但是我喜歡。=）

對了，還有成欣，謝謝你在那跟我講英語。哈哈。，沒啦，就是 thank you for your compliments. 希望你縂有一天，如果it’s in God’s will, 也能當上worship leader. =)

最後呢，就是恩了。第一天見到你，沒說什麽，也不知道你是什麽樣的人。但在你學校的禱告會時，發覺你還挺好玩的喔。在拍那 “誰是sherron的心上人“的時候，幸好有你在。不然我也不知道要如何結束。然後發現你竟然也喜歡 High School Musical! 挖！當時我還真得非常高興耶！終于有人知道 High School Musical 是什麽了！不只是知道，還喜歡耶！太棒了！哈哈。那在整個退休會當中，發覺你非常有善，特別熱情，也很會照顧別人。整個退休會和台灣的八天能那麽好玩和享受，也應為能 tease you, 還有跟你聊天。你取笑faith 時也挺好笑的。最後呢，就是我能在你身上感覺到你很愛神。我的祈求，是你每天會更深愛我們的耶穌。那好啦，要好好讀書喔！記得我寫給你的字條嗎？要牢記在心啊！應為那句話對我來說， well, I treasure it a lot, and I really believe it. Hope it’s something that inspires you too.

Alright, I really miss you guys over in Taiwan a lot. You guys have been a really big blessing to me. Thank you so much for everything. You guys have shown me what it is to really serve, and what commitment really means. I’ve been really blessed. So thank you all!

Alright, while talking about mission trip, how can I miss you guys out that went to the mission trip with me!

Sherron: Hey dude, it was really cool having you there man. Even though the jokes aren’t always funny, or you might be cheong hei at times. But your heart for the people, your heart to pray for them, and your love for God is really something that I can feel very evidently from you. Without you there, it wouldn’t have been as fun and stuff. Well, I’ll be seeing you still at soccer and stuff, so I hope this friendship can continue to grow. =)

Isaac: Your appetite and hunger for food blew me away man. I never knew someone could eat so much lar! The only other person I thought ate a lot was shawn tan, but man, do you eat A LOT. But anyway, your humour really brought lots of laughter to the team, so thank you. Not forgetting your passion for prayer, which is something that I am learning to have to. It was great knowing you more through this trip, and I hope it doesn’t stop there too.

Daniel: Haha, your wit and funny accent is hilarious man. The way you insult people is suuuuuper farnie too. But all that aside, your love for God, and not really caring how people look, is really something great. I enjoyed my time with you the past few weeks man, it’s really great, even during the camp, NLE, the mission trip. Really blessed by your presence. =) And like the rest, I hope I’ll get to know you more personally too. =)

David: Yomomogilaba! Haha, or whatever it’s supposed to be spelt as. I thought your translation during the whole trip was great. Your presence also perked up the whole team. Hee, and thanks for all the good recommendations on food and everything else. All the best during army! If you need any advice or whatever, can always come and find me. =) Hope this friendship will grow. =)

Joachim: Though I didn’t get to see you much (asylum), hahaha! Kidding. But anyway, I’m blessed by seeing how desperate you were for God. Still remember during one of the days, you were praying in tongues in the retreat in your asylum. Wah sehz, super loud man. But that really showed me how desperate I can still get to God. Long way for me. Hee. And all the sacrifices you made during the trip itself, I was really touched by it. Really. You were an inspiration there by being an example yourself. Thanks for blessing my life with that.

Sarah: Like I said in your card, your smile’s really contagious. Haha, you seem to be smiling all the time. Keep that smile. Din get to talk too much to you. But I can sense a servant attitude from you. So that’s like really cool. =)

Grace: But then… Haha kidding. =P But seriously, I am super amazed by how much you can talk. Like really. Not a bad thing. =) Sorry if I was a bit snappy when I was like feeling drained and all. Didn’t mean any malice. Hee. Keep talking to people about God!But then… hahaha

Faith：Fat boy… Haha kidding too! =P It was great knowing you through this trip! Hee. Prior to this trip, I din even know who you are. Haha , but I think you’re a great girl. I hope you continue to grow closer to God. Your humour’s quite funny too~hoho. =) All the best while studying lor (law). Aaha, k that was a pun. =P

Finally, I’ve updated my blog. This will be well, a new beginning of my life.

The Start of Something New

Reminiscing

2006-12-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hihi people.
Wow, time really flies. It's like just a few moments ago when i was still auditioning for STRINGS, and now it's over. Sooo fast. I'm a bit lost now, cause everything seemed to have happened so fast. I'll just talk about things in chronological order. =)

I still remember when i first auditioned for STRINGS, i was really excited and stuff, i mean CMON IT'S A MUSICAL! And i've always loved musicals cause it's just so fantastic. I remember the first time i got my role, i was actually this guy called Gabriel. You guys must be like "huh? who's that?" right? Well, long story short, in the end i became Bambola, and i was like "WAh. -_-" cause it was like so sudden. But i kinda liked Bambola's character. Cause it showed the crazy side of me, and allowed me to sing and blah and all. So i thank God for giving me the opportunity to do this musical as Bambola. Even though i did not have the chance to dance either as the puppet, or the POP, or the beginning where the dancers danced, well it's over, maybe next time. Hee. I like to dance though. Weird hor? haha. though i can't really do it well, but i like it. I'm sure you dancers out there must have really enjoyed yourself right? =)

Well, i loved acting with you guys. Ivan, Eli, Rachel, Isabel, Gilda, Geraldine. You guys were really fun and it just made rehearsals so much more lively and enjoyable. Thank you so much for your time spent rehearsing together. I thoroughly enjoyed everything. =)

Germaine and to some extent too, Glenn ( glenn, 5 rehearsals remember? hahah~) i loved singing with you too. Germaine, i love your voice! haha you sing well. Really enjoyed singing with you, and your acting improved as you went through each rehearsal and practise. So good job! Glenn, was cool singing with you too, even though we din really practise a lot together, but was fun too! Thank you both for making singing fun and it makes me wanna sing more. =)

To Shi Wei, hey, i thought you really led this team well. Like without you, our acting would be so much less lively and real. Thank you for your time spent with us, like so much time lar. Even when you're not feeling well and all you still spend the time to rehearse with us, and give us comments. Thank you.

Finally, to my one and only Heavenly Dad. Thank you so much for making STRINGS happen, and guiding us and helping us through, since day one, for this production to happen. Thank you for the chance to be able to serve You the way i really enjoyed, and love. Even though there are times i felt down, and even songs i wrote that were not sung, i know that in the end, it's all about you, and the songs will be in my heart. I know thank you isn't enough to express the gratitude i have for you, but still, i just wanna say Thank You Lord.

it's called meme. o_O''

2006-11-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

Alright, for once this is not a real post post about what's been happening or what. But i got tagged. *Thanks abby* o_O'' hahaha but yeah, just a lil' of me for you guys to know. Hope i don't bore you by the end of the post. haha.

Once tagged by this entry, the assignment is to write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. Then, pick six of your friends and tag them; no tag backs. This explanation should be included

Random Fact 1: This is one that everyone will know. FOR SURE. BUT, i'm still gonna say it anyway, cause i love it to bits and pieces.... I LOOOOOOOOOOVE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! I've watched the parts i like, around 60 times now. And the full thing about 5-6 times. Hee. So yeahz. I think i can try setting the guiness book of world records for this, in a few months time. But really, i really like it. After being introduced by SHERMAN WONG (now you know who's causing you poor folks the suffering of having to endure my expressive love for High School Musical) in July, 1st week or 2nd, can't really remember, i fell in love with the show. =) I'll just tell you what was my 1st impression of it k?
Well, Sherman and Crystal Goh were supposed to come to my house for a song practice for the Meet the Parent's session thingy. While on the bus, sherman kept asking "Have you watched this show called High School Musical??" And i told him no, but he kept singing "We're breaking free... Flying..." With crystal, who apparently watched that part too, and sang with him. At that point of time, i was a bit irritated, cause i wanted them to FOCUS on the song item we were gonna practise. So well, we got to my house, and i went into my room to get my cd that the song item was in. And Mr Sherman just had to download the YouTube Video of Breaking Free. That was the first time i met Gabriella. I still remember vividly her singing the part "Creating space between us, till we're separate hearts" and the vulnerable kinda look she had. But anyway, i felt really irritated now, like i was thinking "SHERMAN, can you focus~ waaah.. " kinda thing, and crystal was like saying "wah, her voice quite squeaky hor?" and i replied saying "yar lor, but k lar not bad i guess", cause i was irritated that they weren't focused. So my initial impression of HSM was pretty bad. That was also how i met Gabriella, and was introduced to HSM for the 1st time. So anyway, after they left, i decided to download the movie, cause it was highly recommended by sherman. I din watch it until the following monday. I still remember at 1am, that fateful morning, i thought " I'd better watch the show, if not i think it'll just rot in my com for a few centuries. I'm not that tired anyway". At 2.39am, butterflies were flying in my stomach, and i just couldn't believe how sweeeeeeeeeeet Gabriella was, and how nice the whole show was!!! From that day onwards, everything changed. And you see the Samuel Yuan in front of you right now.
Hahaha~ yup that's how i got introduced to HSM. =P cool huh? hee

2nd Random Fact: I hate the action called sleeping. Well, why? Cause it's like you're just doing nothing. Not stoning or lazing or what know. It's like absolutely nothing. And i think that's pretty much a waste of time. However, i know the importance of it, and i appreciate the rewards it gives when used well. What i dun like is when i fall asleep prematurely, or when it's unplanned. That's when i think time's really wasted, and i always get a funny feeling if i fall asleep for a prolonged period of time after i wake up.

3rd Random Fact: I value freedom a lot. Ever since entering the army, i've never knew that freedom would smell so nice. I really want my freedom!! And ever since schooling days, i've always complained about being stressed and stuff. However, i've learned not to complain about boredom. Like during the hols, sometimes people will go "ah yoh so sian. sigh" kinda thing. But hey, what did you feel when you were stressed? So i know i dun like veing stressed and busy, so i appreciate the freedom i get after it, even if it's so called boring. But i learned to enjoy boredom le, cause it's part of my freedom. 81 days to ORD. WAHAHHAHA

4th Random Fact: Oh i love this 1 too. I love fairy tales! I don't know why, but recently, this year or so, i realised i love fairy tales. And yes i believe they can happen~ Maybe partly because HSM is so fairy tale-ish. But yar. Shows like Beauty and the Beast, the little mermaid, i think they're really nice. I actually did watch Beauty and the Beast again, and i thought it was really nice. So those that think fairy tales are just bleah or what. I'm here to say no. In some ways, i'll make it happen for my future partner. woo hoooo~ And anyone that reads this post, but i don't treat my future partner like that, can scold me and remind me of this post! =)

5th Random Fact: i'm quite a gamer. haha. i've owned most of the generations gaming consoles. Let's see, i got nintendo, sega, playstation, playstation 2. Haha, and soon to come PS3 once it's out and the price drops. Hehe. Handhelds, i've had gameboy and PSP. hoho. so you see, i kinda like playing games. I think this is how i grew to like fairy tales too. Ever since i played Final Fantasy. Wao. The stories inside are really engaging. Hee. The girl on top of my blog, she's Yuna. She's really sweet too. She's from Final Fantasy 10. Hee. And yeah, just so you guys noe i play most games. haha.

6th Random Fact: You know how i learned harmony? As in like when singing a song, then i do a tenor or an alto part. A harmony. Really thank God for it, but how it started, believe it or not, was from the influence of Backstreet Boys! So don't go around saying "EEE those boybands" or what k, cause i grew up listening to Backstreet Boys. I still remember i was in my room, in front of my stereo listening and singing to the song "Back to your heart" from the Millenium album. Then just suddenly, like really just SUDDENLY, i heard the parts they were doing. And i asked "Eh, how come got like a different voice singing something else ah???" and from then on, i could more or less grasp the tenor part. haha.

Alrightz, that's about it. WHew, really cracking my brain to think of these things man. Anyway.... CONGRATULATIONS MOST of you 'O's and 'A's Levels Students! It's finally over! Can you feel the liberation? Hoho. Enjoy yourself man. Really enjoy loads~ For some that still has that 1 last miserable paper, hang in there k? I know who you are, and i'm keeping you in prayer still. You're not alone. =) Take care all!

Woah

2006-11-05T20:24:00.000+08:00

Hoho im back~ Haha this time not so bad k, haven 1 month i update liaoz. hahaz. Well, firstly, just wanna encourage those of you that are having your exams at the moment. 'A' or 'O' levels. I know it's tough. It's probably suuuuuuuper stressful and stuff also. But take heart! It's gonna be over real soon. Time might seem to crawl at the moment, but even as it crawls, it's still moving. So jia you bah everyone of you out there!

Well, i've some things i really really wanna thank God for for the past month. It's been incredible i tell you. like "WOAH" kinda thing. So anyway, here it goes.
Alrightz, past few months or so, i've been feeling quite dry and stuff. Spiritually that is. It's like i also din really know why and stuff. Talked to some people about it, but still din come to much of a conclusion as to why. However, i kinda kept pressing on, and even while i did that, i had to go through some really crappy weeks like having to go through the weeks like "man where are my friends" or "do they even care?" kinda weeks. Felt horrible i tell you. But someone once told me " Maybe, God's way to let you really have nothing else to hold on to, so you'll depend on Him instead ", but i din feel it to be like that when i was going through it. However, near the end of that period, i actually thought about it again, and yar, i think that was what God was trying to get into my thick skull. Which i subsequently spent more time with Him. And things just seemed to get better somehow. So next time if you're feeling that way, maybe that's what God wants you to do, go back to Him. =) So this is one of the things i thank God for. =)

Well, the other is like really a miracle miracle man. So anyway, initially, it was really impossible for me to go Megalife camp. Like it'd be my first time i don't go for megalife camp lor. I was pretty upset at first, but eventually tried to like think it's ok and stuff. But inside i still felt a bit sianed about it. Reason of why i couldn't go, is cause during the camp date itself, i have this check thingy that's actually the 2nd most important thing i have to do in my life in this camp. So it's like "wah my boss confirm dun allow 1 lar..". Even my friends in camp thought it was impossible lor. But anyway, after praying and stuff, and my friends praying for me, Samuel Low asked me to try anyway. And i also wanted to try 1 time also. So well, i did. and to cut the long story short, I COULD GO!!!! I CAN GO MEGALIFE CAMP!!! Like WOO HOO!!! My goodness.
i was like super super happy lar. Thank God! So yar, whatever you think, if you think it's humanly impossible. Never give up on God. Cause nothing is impossible for Him. Always believe. Miracles really do happen.

Wonder why i like High School Musical so much? Besides the lovey dovey part, and Gabriella, and the songs they sing. It's cause they believe their dreams. Well, their secret dream of singing together. It's really fairy tale. And i really believe in them. So dare to dream. Believe. Of course, in the context of not going delusional and not knowing what reality is and stuff.

Yup~ Now this entry's kinda short. Oh wait, 1 last thing, guess what? Since this post is like 1 day before SOMEONE's birthday, here it goes. *clears throat*

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to NATALIE!!
Happy Birthday to yoooou~

Hoho~ Sweet girl, happy birthday. =) Take care now and all the best for the rest of the 'O's. Jia yoou!

Joy

2006-09-08T18:46:00.000+08:00

As promised, i'm gonna blog about how to find joy while studying! Can't keep letting my blog die and revive it 2 months later. *shakes head to myself* haha sorry for all those that come over once in awhile to see nothing. Gomenasai! (Sorry in jap) Well, before i start that, i wanna share something that was pretty cool and that i thank God for.
A few saturdays ago, when the Taiwan team came, there were area gatherings happening. I was at the Joachim area leading worship. So anyway after worship, i checked my phone, lo and behold! I had like 14 missed calls and duno how many thousands of messages (k thousands is just exaggerating it). Then when i read through them, they were people from my army camp that called. and one of them was my boss. I was like "Oh my... this ain't good." Anyway, cut the loooong story short, he wanted to punish me for something that wasn't my fault (and have confirmed with my friends by sharing, and they say it wasn't my fault anyway), and i was really sianed diao and angry and blah and argh and ahH! But after that i STILL had to end of the area gathering by playing and leading a song. I was like really not THERE already. like totally off and stuff. Like how can this happen? God you still want me to lead later? But i told myself, that it wasn't a matter of how i feel, it's something i have to do, and something that required my will to worship Him even though that crap happened. So i did, and well, it ended.

Point for this part, is that, no matter what crap you go through, or more aptly put in your context, what disappointments in results, duno how to do the stupid math question, or just the " I am so behind time! " kinda feeling, it is Your choice to worship Him. Worship's not about us anyway, it's about Him, so no matter what happens to us, it shouldn't change our worship to Him cause He doesn't change. Choose to worship Him in your lowest times where you dun FEEL like it at all.

Which then brings me to the following week. So well my boss wanted to punish me, which i felt unfair, but was ready for it if it actually did happen. Think i prayed sporadically cause was just down and all. And on the final day where i had to confirm the punishment, cause it was either me to be punished, or my man. And i asked a third opinion (someone of the same rank as my boss) about the situation. And he stood on my side! So i told my boss, and he din punish me after that! I was like "PRAISE GOD! WOO HOO~" kinda thing. even though in the end the punishment was like really peanuts, but the main point was God saw me through the whole thing. On hindsight, maybe it's because i honoured Him by chooosing to worship Him during that saturday. Honour Him, and He will Honour you so many times more.

So how do you find joy while studying... Hmm.. you call joy lau or joy lu lor. hahahhaa. =P Use telephone lar, msn, all also can! hahaha. Kk kidding kiddng. =)
So how do you actually do that, well, it's real tough, and i can't really say i found that during my A's. maybe more for O's. but for both i was super duperly ultra stressed. jUst like some of you might be, or even worse.
Well, during this period, something i kept close to my heart, was that God has a plan for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. I held unto that very tightly cause the future seemed so bleak and all with the results i was getting, especially A's. So maybe you can claim that too. =)
But when i actually am studying, i'll just give practical things i do, which you might wanna consider. Well firstly, i made my studying less torturing. How so? Every hour i'd have like at least a 5 minutes break for toilet and stuff. But after like say a certain number of chapters, for 1 hr plus, i'll have a 15 min break doing anything i like. and i keep to the timing. the 15 mins might not be very long, but it's not too short either actually. So during that time just let ur hair down, watch some High School Musical, surf some net, chat for awhile kinda thing. =)
And for me i listen to music when i study. But this is debatable cause it can cause you to be distracted. So for me, i on it ReEALLy soft so much i can hear a bit but not get distracted. But when it gets to a song i so love to sing to, i'll turn it on and start singing, which is like those kinda additional "suprise!" breaks. Hee.
When the going gets tough, Get down and worship Him. It was what i did. everytime the stress gets to my head, i'll put down my stuff, then worship Him for a lil' while. And though not everytime it helps or something, i grew closer to Him. =)
And after a loOoooOOng day's time of studying, i'll make sure i enjoy myself! At the end of my studying, usually 11pm or 12am latest, i'll put down all my studying, and go surf the net. chat with my friends and all. It's like what i look towards for everyday. Ya know delayed gratification? Yeah it's how it works.
This is my typical study plan.

9pm-12/1pm study
12/1pm - 2/2.30pm Lunch and rest

2.30pm latest to 7pm Study
7pm - 8.30pm Lunch and rest

8.30pm - 10/11pm study
11pm onwards Rest

So you see, you actually get quite a lot of rest, if u take note that every hour or hour + i do take 10-15 mins breaks too.
And you can break the day into 3 parts of studying. After the 2nd one which is the afternoon one, you'll be like on high morale already. Hehe.
Well, i hope these help you guys, and girls. If you need a laugh, can always come to me, i'll see what jokes are up my sleeve for ya. hehe. Take care people!

To Anon: So who are yoooooOOou? Everyone must identify themselves when you tag lar. *pouts* hahaha. =P cmon~ pls? =)

New stuff

2006-07-09T18:02:00.001+08:00

Haha, thought the blog was dead? Haha so did i. I din really know what to write on ya see. =) Well, just sharing a bit here and there for now. Recently, been (and still is) on a craze for this show called High School Musical. It was such a hit with songs going to Billboard No.1 Like Breaking Free and other songs. Oh yar, this post is just a post on how ive been and stuff, so it's not as say, edifying or encouraging like the other 1s, just a normal post which i hope yOu guYs won't be too bored of. =)
Anyway, i love High School Musical, which most of you should have known by now. Hahaz. Well, i shall keep all the sweet and lovey things about the show aside 1st. THink i'll just talk about the song, Breaking Free. Hahaz, much that it was more of a love song than anything else, (which i love too), it does have some meaning to it. It's like how ya noe the movie's about not being afraid of doing what you want to do, what's in your heart? For Troy and Gabriella, it was singing. People around them initially thought it was just "weird" for them to sing. It's like a "come on, you sing? you're THE basketball guy" or "hey, you're the freaky math girl". But hey, in the end, they broke free from what people might think of them, and did really well! The song was just so captivating don't ya think?

We're Soaring, Flying

There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach

If we're trying, yeah we're Breaking Free

I believe that if God has placed that dream in your heart, just don't be afraid to believe it can happen. Remember that, through Christ, all things are possible!

My dream, is to be able to act in a musical like HSM and be the lead. =) haha what a dream huh? Dream big guys. =)

Here i am again

2006-05-07T18:55:00.000+08:00

haha, yes i'm back, to update the blog. To all the taggers, i've always came to my page to look at the tags, so it's really very much appreciated. Dun think it's written for no 1 to see. i'm blessed by them. Domo Arigato Gozaimasu. (Thank you so much)
Well, just a lil' update on my life. Past month, i've been on this logistics course since now i'm a logistics officer. Well, thE army really lets yOu leArn lOtsa things that are redundant, but maybe that's cause i find it really really really boring. *yawn* So a word of advice to "army personnel" to be pple, or those that just went in, haha try to like what their talking. or buy something to eat. haha why buy something to eat? cause if u dun, u'll fall asleep in class, which i am so capable of. *blush* haha. but yeah. Anyway, my course is gonna end soon, and i'll be an officer with responsibilites once again. Well, "with power comes responsibility", how true. Those in leadership, be it Church or wherever, just make sure that when you're holding that title "leader" to always think of those you're serving. Well, sometimes you'll need a break and stuff, which is perfectly fine really, but serve them to the best of your ability. Mina san, ganbatteneh (jia you everyone).

Oh yar, before i write anything else, just wanna say "All the best!" for those having your exams now. It's like so going to be over soon. Dun stress yar? And whatever that you did well or bad, dun think about them, just concentrate on what's ahead of you, the rest of the other papers. Yupz. It's like how in soccer, even after say we score 5-0 or 0-5, we still go "guys 0-0" to not be complacent, or not be affected by what has already been done. yUpz

Anyway, there's 1 thing i learned this month. It's about negativity. No it's not the polarity of the magnet. haha k nvm. -_-'' haha. Did you know i used to be this really negative kid? Haha. Now i still suffer from it. (dameyoh) but i still do. But i can say i grew a lil' better, so here's some thoughts from a negative kid. (No sunlight required to see me clearly) Hahaz.

Negatives like the dark, but need Light to shine on them,
well if not they subtract the people around them.
Being positive adds people to your life.

Now what does that mean. k i shall explain the 1st part 1st. Why do negatives like the dark? Haha like the REAL negatives (photograph), you can only develop them in the DARK room. Once exposed to the light, it will be useless and you can't develop anymore photos with it. So like negative people, they usually like to dwell in their negativity. I'm not too sure why, but somehow they do, and i tend to also. So, those that you think you're always very negative about things, always very depressed, TRY, try try try try to think +ve. Think of happy things. Think of nice things. Well easier said than done, but really, it helps. And if u can, worship God.

Alright, so why do negatives need light to sHinE oN thEm? Well, just like the developed negatives, the only way to see it is to put it under the light, then you can see the outline and everything else right? So well, negative people need to have positive people around them~ And i do have people around like that, that's why i thank God for them. Really. Some are always +ve, some are really good at listening, some understand. So when you're feeling low, much as you'll want to find some1 good at listening and understand, try finding some that are +ve. You Might be irked cause you think "how can they be so happy?! when i'm like this and blah..." try to understand, that they are that way cause they want u to be happy too. If 2 persons drop in the well, how can they escape? while if one's outside, he can lift the other up.

Why does being negative subtract people from your life. Well, negative is always a minus sign right? So yeah just like math, in real life it draws people away from you. From experience of being negative, and being with people negative, i know this personally. When i was really bleah and everything, well people still listen and understand and all that stuff. BUT, if u're ALWAYS negative, it somehow forms an aura around you that makes people "wah i say what he always 'no lar cannot 1 lar' or 'die le lar' or 'no meaning man'" or whatever, people will get tired. We are humans, and aren't perfect. So pple will nOt want to be with you cause they duno how to react when they're with you, and they will get tired too. No 1 likes to be tired. I've lost so many good friends cause of this. Well not a lot, but enough to =( so dun be like me k?? =)

Now, being positive ADDS people to your life. How true. From observation and experience i know this. There was a period of time where i was really cheerie and all that, cause i was real close to God at that time too. And at that period of time, people remembered my birthday. Like even those that i dun expect to remember remembered! I was like SUPER shocked. But yes, pple talk to me more and everything else. But when i was negative, you can see people just "forget". Not their fault, but yar it happens. And i've this really negative friend, like who always thinks when there are 2 possibilities, the worse will always happen. It's like though my group of friends hang out with him, but he was always "alone" also cause he was always being so negative, that we dun wanna hear all those things kinda thing. So please, be positive!

Okay, for the friends of the negative ones. Realise this, that if you see him negative, when he isn't in front of others, is cause he thinks you are one of the few that is close enough to him to let him show this side of him. So try to understand yar? So yupz

Hmm, now i shall reply the tags.

Abby: 1588j5jj21dsaj Hello back to you!

ZhengXin: haha never expected yOu to pop by, but was nice~ thanksss. =)

Natalie: Yes army is a place that can grow you, or destroy you. Keep your bro in prayer. Meanwhile take care of yourself. You din look that good on sat. Hmm duno if i'm imagining things. But yup. =)

Rachel: yes i'll link you this time! hee. like finally right? hee. take care woooor~

Thanks for always tagging. *tears* till the next time. =)

been long

2006-03-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

I don't know if anyone drops by anymore, but i thought i'd update it since so much has happened.
No 1 tags liao. haha, a sign of the blog dying. So well, thought i'd add some life into it. Just in case there's some1 checking, but i don't think so anyway. Oh well.

Hmm, been like 2 months plus since i came back from my Thailand trip. Well, thailand was SOOO MUCH better than brunei i tell you. I mean the terrain itself was like heaven compared to brunei. haha. The weather for the 1st half of the training over there was pretty good cause it was the winter seasoN theRe. nOt that it snOwed or anything, but it wasn't hOt in thE aftErnOoN. bUt at night it'd be kinda fReEziNg. haha. bUt overall it was cool. thE time over there was generally a nicE time lar. but i missed yOu guys over there though. yeah. =)

Okay so after cominG, there was onLy 1 outfield exercise left, then after that it was just preparatiOns for Commissioning. For 3 weeks, the start was real lousy cause we were punished for a lot of things that was real silly. Well, anyway, that made those 3 weeks real long, and also made me wanna get out of there ASAP. But that is so not what i want nOw. Will explain why later. Anyway, the 2nd and 3rd week were mOstly drill lessons for commissioning parade. It involves doing drills under the hot sun for hours and hours. That period i was really chao tah-ed man. haha. the tan line was sUpEr obviOUs ah. haha. But thank God, somehow during most of thE drill lEssons, there were strong winds and stuff. God's real good. hehe. So from here, yOu can see that even in lousy situations which you can't change, God can still change the things to make things easier for you, see how much He cares? hoho.
Anyway in the last 3 weeks, i was really close to my platoon mates. Many things happened too. I was really sad due to my aunt passing away... But it was good to see that some that knew what happened cared. Shant' talk too much abt it. bUt yeah i was really close to my platoon mates. A few of them especially. We did a lot more things together. I've never been so close to non-christian friends before ever since primary school. Weird huh? haha, well anyway, after the 3 weeks of grueling training under the hOt sun, it was finally commissioning day. The moment i threw my cap into the air after the announcment: "The Newly Commissioned Officers", was really a moment i probably won't forget. It was a moment of real joy and happiness after going through 9.5 months of madness. But along with the madness, i made real friends i cherish and love.

Now that it's over, i won't be able to sleep, talk nonsense, tell jokes, get punished, have fun, go toilet, have meals together with them anymore. And when it came into realisation, it gave me a sense of lossness for some time, cause i really miss them. I really really do.

So people, please, before you start missing them, or start to regret for not spending enough time with your friends whom 1 day you might not meet as often, or dun even meet anymore, treasure them. Treasure them so much. Bring them to Christ if they don't know Him. Keep asking them to come to church if thEy aren't christians yet.

Cherish them. Love them,

Never forget them.

yet again

2006-01-03T12:22:00.000+08:00

been ages since i last updated. well, here i am now, but i'm leaving for thailand later. =| i soo soo dUn likE to go for such stuff. this timE it'll bE for 3 weeks. but good thing is least i'll bE bACk for chinese new year~

*pst* let's do visitatioN again alright? just likE last year. hahaz, i think it'll be fun. kk?

so yeah, past 2 months aftEr i came bACk from bRunei, it has been quite slack. the training in camp that is. so well, that's a good thing. but due to all the mission trips and all, i din get to see quite a numbEr of yOu during services. and just when i did, i'm off to thailand. =| but the consolation is that this course is goinG to be over sooon. =) well, i kNow i'll miss some of them, but yeah, just guess i gotta make thE bEst of it. Same goes to thE rest of yOu that have jUst entered into yOur new schOols. wEll, enjoy these few days of orientatiON for the J1s. It's where yOu get to know quite a lot of pple. For me i was too quiet for my own good. haha, but of well that's a thing of thE past. So yOu guys, and girls, have fuN~ =)

well, special pple i'd like to mention yet again, and the "titles" they've earned in 2005.

The most amusing person :
A tie between Aza and Jocelyn~ *clap clap* Personally, i think Aza's really amusing with what she says, but jocelyn makes up for it using the ultra flexible muscles in the face to make faces i've never seen before. hoho~ oH and just to add, this amusing is in a good way. =) it makes my day. thank yOooU

The sweetest person :
Natalie~ Hahaz, she's so sweet i had to gEt her a pack of sugar for her birthday. haha~ well besides that, she tagged me the most! I've been reading those tags k? And i really appreciate it even though i din reply nor update my posts. but yeah, here it is. =)
a really close sEconD is jOylynn that tagged me a lot of times too. haha.
thAnk yOu so much for sweetening up my life

and no, i don't judge how sweet yOu are by hOw many tags yOu tagged. i measure yOur glucose level that's all. haha, nah kidding. the 2 of them are really sweet pple, dunch you all agree?? *clap clap*

The most missed person :
xiaohuli~ Been like ages upon ages wor since we had a good talk. well, a few days ago have i guess, but ah yah, i mean like last year jan that period. how fun it was. I miss those times. Let's go visiting again k? haha. =)
thank yOu for everything. like everything. =)

The most sensitive person:
I'd say Lydia would get it. But being sensitive comes with a price sometimes. somehow, when some1's sensitive, expectations on them might be higher, for them to understand pple easily. So to all the sensitive pple, do take note if yOu want. hee
Coming quite close is Crystal Goh. Haha, surprised? hmm, but yar, i think you're really sensitive, and the good thing is yOu act on it, by offering whatever yOu can after detecting certain emotions in pple. =)
so thank yOu to both of you.

The most "irritated" person due to me :
Sherman WOOOONG~ hoho. everytime i says something lame, usual response
"waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh..... so laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!"
hahaz. =) but it's really fun having yOu as a friend and a mEntee. =) thanks

The person who've heard me talk about marraige kinda stuff the most :
Jialin~ It's nice to talk to yOu about it. haha, least there's some1 who understand the wOooes of poor ol' samuel. haha. bUt yeah thanks for listening to everything, not only that. hee.

K that's all folks. hehe.

well, i'll miss yOu pple a lot AgAin. =/ so do take care of yOursElves yar? =)
please keep me in prayer too. Gotta need a lot of it. Xie xie da jia. =)

Replying tags:

Natalie: Thank yOu thank you. duno how to say, but thank you. ALways so sweet. Hope this year will be a goOd year even though it's the O's, but stay the same k? hee. =) *sings into the empty space* "and i hope you'll always stay the sameeeee~"

Rachel: Hee, thanks for being a frequent tagger too. hee. it's encouraging to see pple tag this dead blog. haha. thanks. take care yar? =)

Joylynn: J2 le wor, well, just keep working hard lar, confirm good results 1. hee. kk this time i'm flying off liao, again. ah yoooh. so take gOoOd carE of yOursElf in the meantime. catch up soon yar? =)

take care ok??

2005-11-06T20:13:00.000+08:00

I'll be leaving for brunei in likE 3 hours or so. So jUst want to say sOme things to all of yOu.
Well, firstly, enjoy Your hOlidays~ ThosE that have finished yOur exams that is. but foR the O and A level students, Jia you!! While i'm gone, those goinG for mission trips, practise hard and have fuN yar? You'll learn lots during the trip, so go with an expectant heart. K now to specific pEoplE.

Xiaohuli: So what's the colour of yOur eyes now? hee. Well, i've never really toOk nOtice, so maybe next time i will. Hee. while i'm gonE, do take carE of yOursElf yar? i mean, i duno what else to say, but yar. If there's time i'll make a call back when i can, so do pick up the phone k? Hahaz. Have fUn during yOur missions training yeah? I dunO when yOu're leaving for it yet, but if it's after i get back, then i'll send yOu off. If not, have fUn during thE trip yar? Grow so close so close to God k? Hee. Well, i don't sHoot that well, so yeah.. Hao hao zhao gu zi ji.

Lydia: Lydia chan, ganbatteneh~ That's for yOur upcominG exams. As for yOur lessons for drumminG and driving, just have fun k? I knOw yOu can do it 1. =) Well, stay happy whilE i'm gonE yar? Not that yOu're not when i'm here. Haha, but yar, stay genki. =)

Jialin: Hihi, hmm, keeping yOu in prayer. So least during this exam period, hang in there. tAke carE yar?

Natalie: Today was your birthday, and i hOpE yOu enjoyed it. Was nicE walking with yOu all yesterday. Hahaz. Well, have fun this holidays yar? This 2 weeks wun be able to make silly faces and all, ahah. Take care wor~

Sherman: Hey Mr sherman~ Hahaz, 2 weeks of nOt seeing yOu too. Well, have fun doinG hip hop yar? Hehe. Don't play too mUch dota ah. hahaz, but do enjoy Your hOlidays lar. =) Remember to practise yOur guitar. Haven seen hOw yOur guitar playing is for some time liao, maybe soon.. Hehe. =)

Joylynn: Heya, haven talked to yOu for some time. Hope yOu're doinG fine. We'll catch up oncE i get bACk from Brunei k? Meanwhile, take carE of yOursElf wor. =) lOtz

Aza: Haha, almost forget to write to you. You're a really interesting girl yOu know that? Haha, like i said, forget about all the nonsense i always say about yOu yar? This 2 weeks wOn't be going home with the rest of yOu, so well, enjoy yOur hOls anyway. Have fuN during yOur practices and continue to be that unique girl yOu are. Take care. =)

Alright, that's about it. The rest of yOu, take care!! i'll be back soon.

updatE

2005-11-05T01:49:00.000+08:00

hoho, as i've prOmisEd, an update this wEEk~ hahaz. cool stuff. this week's kinda relaxed cAusE of hari raya and dEEpavali. but likE what they always say, the calm before thE storm, well, the storm's going to brunei! ahhh~~~ I can imagine thickly vegetated forests, hot weather, rain, wet socks (eeewww..) and just getting scolded and whatever since i'm an appointment hOlder for onE of the mission. Oh well, but this week has been rather relaxing, and it's something i am really enjoying and thank God for. likE after so so so so many mONths, i was finally able to hang out with my friends i've not met for so so loNG.
Ever heard of the 5 languages of love? Well, most of yOu should have i suppose. But if not, these are the 5,

Words of affirmation
Spending quality time
Gifts
Acts of Service
Touch

And well, mine in general is spending quality time with my friends. And that's why i want to thank all those we met up with me, either i call or you called, cause i really enjoyed your company and i appreciate it a lot.

Lydia: Thanks for bEing so similar to me, ahha, sometimes it's really comforting to know that some1 actually feels the way i do on cErtain issues, and more often than not, yOu do. Thanks for talking on sUnday. =)

Jialin: i eNjoYed yOur company on sUnday with lydia. It was a good talk we had, haha i found it real interesting. hEe. Well, just wanna lEt yOu know, that guy will come, and anyway, do take care of yOursElf even during this pEriod of time where yOu're so stretched.

Aza: Hahaz, it was surprising but thank you. Though the run wasn't that lOng for me, i really enjoyed the few hours. Was cool~ Just talking and everything, hahaz, i really really appreciate it. Thank yOu so much. You're really an interesting girl. hoho. =)

Crystal Goh: Hoho, thanks for taking time off that timE when i was likE super down and everything. so i waNna say a BIG thank yOu to you. "BIG THANK YOU~" ahhahaz. =P but yeah, more than anything else, that time spent with me was really appreciated. Hee, take care and all zE bEst for yOur exams. hoho. =)

John: Hahaz, dun think yOu're ever gonna see this, unless i ask yOu to come here and read lar. bUt in any case, dude, thanks for everything. all the crap we talk, all the fun we have, just walking around looking at models and anime stuff, thanks. I really enJoy spEnding time with yOu and thanks for being such a wonderful wonderful friend too. Just hope you'll have a better perspective of yoUr job in the army now lar, i also sian 1, but hey, try lar yeah? =)

Yeah, so thank you all for taking time off to spend with the miserable officer cadet named Samuel Yuan. *touched*

wEll, recently, i've been bogged down by some stuff. 1 of them being backslided christians. I know i've touched on this issue before, but i just can't stop, it's really very disheartening and heart wrenching to see close friends, siblings, or whoever fall away from God. Like, please, people that i know, please don't leave God? I may know seem like doing anything, or sometimes seem indifferent to it, but really, in me i just don't knOw what to do, and i AM sad of the fact if yOu ever do backslide, or have already donE so. I really am concerned.

To thE rest still strong in the Lord, never ever forget yOur backslided friends/relatives k? whEN you've any free time, be it in the toilet lar, on the mrt, or wherever, when yOu aren't doing anything, just give them a call or a message saying yOu're thinkinG of them lar. EveN for yOur friends now that are with the Lord, don't neglect them alright? Grow closer to God TOGETHER, it's much more meaningful and happy to do that, trust me on that.

replying tags:

jOylyNN: thank yOu for the encouragment yOu always give. Hmm, being a great inspiration? i duno, i just hope they can learn something from me, or whatever i've been through. wEll, you are too yOu know? keep close to God. =)

nAtalie: yoU sweet girl, thanks for the uncountable numbEr or tags and encouragement. thank yOu so much. was nicE talkinG to yOu, and you're wElcome. =)

neW tErm

2005-09-25T16:44:00.000+08:00

Do yoU likE chAngE? haha, i sure am oNe thAt dOesn't really likE change. The initial stage of tryinG to get usE to the change, or even the pre-change period i go through is usually the tOughest. Now i'm entering the last term of OCS, which is also the toughest i think. It'll be 23-24 weeks loNg, there'll be 2 overseas training, 1 of them is 2 weeks, the other is 3 weeks. *gasps*

*side note: No greater lovE by Racheal Lampa is really really nice.. *tears*, whenever i hear this, it feels what i'm going through is nOthinG compared to what Jesus wEnt through..* (oh i'm listening to thE sOng nOw.)

From nOw till the time i commission (if i don't get kiCked out that is), there'll bE lots of outfield missioNs, which means lots of timE sPEnt in thE jUngle. i doN't know a lot is hOw mUch lar, but i really dO hOpE it's nOt more than what i think. I've been able to attend megalifE for the past fEw wEEks causE it was the end of the term, so was morE relaxed. bUt as i eNter into this term, i don't know if i'm able to or whether it'll be likE when i just 1st entered, always unable to make it, which i dun want cause I missed yOu guys lots. I reallly really do.

Well, i'm nOt really lOokinG forward to boOkinG in later, but oh well, it just gotta hAppEn. =)
Anyway, i was like the "leader" sorta thing for my platoon (27 pple), and whatever instructions that werE passed dOwn i gotta lEt the platooN kNow. I've gotta always count for strength and stuff likE that. It's likE we're supposEd to report strength at a cErtain time, but the pplE always cOme down almost on the dot (which shldn't be cause timE is needed to count strength), and after many reminders, they still do it. It's likE i don't like to scold pple, nor nag at them, but i have to do it cause it's for thEir own good. likE punishing really isn't what i likE at all, especially whEn thEy are my felloW cadets. But it's like i do these for their own good, but they'll still do it though it's not to spite me, but it just happens. So it's likE i think i know a bit of hOw God feels. I don't think He likes punishing us, but He has to for our own good. And even thOugh we don't always sin to spite God or anything likE that, we still do. wEll, the oNly way i was thinkinG of when i was the "leader" on hOw to let the pplE i'm leading follow me willingly and do things is for them to respect/love me. I din have a lot of time to do that, but God certainly did it for us by sEndinG Jesus to die on thE cross for our sins. So thE next time yOu think yOu're gonna sin, or just feel like everything's just wrong, "who can i turn to?",

look to the cross, look at His love, look for His embrace.

"No greater love than this
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me
I'd spend a lifetime wondering why..
The beauty of heaven is here in my heart
And i know there can be...
No greater love....
Than This.."

Replying of tags:
Natalie: Hoho frequent tagger, thanks for tagging. =) THe scarE was ok lar. haha, but was quite a sUrprise nOnetheless. Was great seeing yOu the past few weeks, and hOpe lots more to come. You sing well girl. =) Take gOOd carE of yOursElf yar? =)

Geraldine: Heyhey~ thANks for the tag, stay funky eh? haha thanks. =) well, how's everything? hmm exams cominG too eh? do study hard and cOntinuE to stay cool. (Note: yOu can hide in the air con room. =P ) take carE~

tough stuff

2005-08-28T18:01:00.000+08:00

hEllo heLLo. been ages since i last updated, so shall do it now. Hmm, OCS is really tough stuff. Like really tiring physically, then gotta learn so muCh stuff i've nO clue on, and everything else. Somehow for the period when i wEnt in until just last wEEk or so, i was really down and just bleah as a whole. Everything's so tough i couldn't really take it, but i still continued on anyway. People seemed really far and God seemed so at that point of time too. Felt really bad. Then just last wEEk, i so couldn't take it i finally stopped to worship God. And in that pEriod of worship, I felt God's presence once again. Amazing. So what can be learnt from this? Well, a lot of times we get caught up in stuff, and well, naturally (least for me), i loOk to friends first if i don't look to God that is. Which well just doesn't really work for me. Godly counsel is impOrtant, but somehow, in my case, it just din work. For me it's perfectly alright if yOu need some1 to lend a listening ear and to seek advice from. But that din happen for me, my friends were all busy or whatever. Was really down and disappointed eveN thOugh i can't really blame them also. But it just felt really crappy for no 1 to listen to me. So anyway, while i worshipped, i felt God's presence and felt much better after the duno how mAny wEEks of bleahness from circumstances, friends and everythinG elSe. So in the end, God was still thE answer. Might sound so common sensE and everything but usually i tend to forget. How bOut you? yeah so that was what was happening. So if anyone were to feel bleah, run back to HIM. Anyway, when i did that, it wasn't as though everything was *tada* solved or what. It was just that in comparison with God's presence, the rest of the stuff were not that bleah anymore even thOugh it's still there. So yUpz.
For those that are in normal shape, why not try calling a friend you're close to but haven been talking for some time? Or just drop a message saying "i miss you"? We all need it sometimes and really, dun forget your friends will ya? Not that you'll really just "oh who are you" or whatever, but dun neglect them. =)

James 4:7-8"And when you draw close to God, God will draw close to you"

Nat: Hihiz. Been really busy, not really busy with my own stuff, but busy in camp and everything else. No time to do anything cause always book out on saturday evenings. So sucky. =| How're yOu doinG? hee, thanks for droppinG by. hoho

Evelyn: Hi thErez. yi1 *beep*2? haha dun really get that. Anyway hEllOO there. hahaz. Anyway which cell yOu from? i can't really remember the incident. sorry ah bad memory. hoho.

Birthday

2005-07-17T19:25:00.000+08:00

This week has been on extremes. It was my birthday week. But on my birthday itself, it was really terrible, yet God's really amazing as to how He makes crappy things go well. Let me share a bit now on the key events that kinda toOk place.
On my birthday eve, i was walking through the jungle and everything cause there was this navigation test kinda thing and groups of 4 had to go find checkpoints all arOund Tekong. Anyway, my group got back at 12am or so, which actually was my birthday already. I was really tired, and i din get to talk to some1 i really wanted to causE that person slept already, and i felt crappy. I had to do my laundry also and that really din feel good to have to do such things early in the Morning of my birthday. So anyway, i left my 11b(an IC for NS pple like me) on my wooden cabinet for easy access. It was the 1st and only time i did it. Then i slept at 2am. The OC came at 3am to every room and "stole" all the 11b's and maps that were left in the open and woke EVERYONE up at 3.30am. It din feel good at all to be woken up like that. Cut this part short, he wanted to charge everyone who had their 11b and maps in the open, and well, i was one of them. Sheesh, charge? like what the heck, it's just an 11b, and HE was the one who stole it somemore, the nerve. Felt like crap cause it might also mean i couldn't bOok out on saturday, and this saturday meant something to me.

So well, the morning itself was really very crappy to me. the rest of the day i thought there'd be a 5km run which i was dreading cause i was really tired after walking around tekong the whole day the day before. But God was really cool, he made it rain and we din have to run. He even gave me super long free times and i felt that bit better. My birthday wasn't anything special or what since it was in camp itself. Bah. Oh well. anyway, i spent time with God and He gave me this verse with regards to being charged or confined.

Isaiah 31:5 " Like birds hovering overhead, the Lord Almighty will shield Jerusalem;
He will shield it and deliver it, He will 'pass over' it and will rescue it"

I was really surprised to have read this verse, but i believed and claimed it at that time, that i won't be punished at all for it. I din believe it 100%, i had my doubts, but it was a 85% kinda thing. So well, the next day, the OC said "You'll only be confined on saturday for the next 2 weeks". At that point i was like "Lord, i thought wun be punished at all??" But i still believed that a miracle would happen, about 75% or so. So well, on friday itself, when the list of confinement pple were being read, my name wasn't read!!!! i was like "My goodness!!! Thank You Lord!! =) " and that had to be the best birthday present i could have.

Well, on saturday itself, i din bring my notebook cause it was outfield training, and i thought my book will get dirtied, so din bring. THEN, the OC had to come to ONLY my platoon, and the next thing gave me a shock of my life "all those who dun have notebooks, confine tonight". That really made my morale go from 100 to -200. My face just changed from =) to =( cause i thought i could do what i wanted to at night already, and now this?! I thought of the verse and i kinda believed it 55% or so, but i was still sad. That thing at night really meant a lot to me. I was praying real hard about it when i had the time, though half of it was in despair though. So book out time came, i had to ask whether we could book out or not, and guess what, my staff sergeant said "all those notebook pple can book out with the rest" and i was like "!!!!!!!!!YEAHH~" hahaz.
This had to be the best birthday present i ever had. =)

So bottomline, trust in God yar?

replying tags :

Natalie: Hoho good that your competition's over. hehe, have a good rest. take care wOr. Thanks for tagging me, makes this blog so much livlier. hahaz

Andrea: Arigatou Gozaimasu. =)

Things

2005-06-26T19:49:00.000+08:00

Been yet another ages sincE i cAmE to update this again riGhtz? Well i'll update this now. =)

Anyway, Natalie, yes Natalie Yeo, you. Hee, Just wanna say, Thaaaaaaaaank you for just dropping by to keep this blog alive. Hahaz, you didn't even update yours but came to just tag my board. *wipes tears away* Thank yOu. =)

Well, let's talk about my life in army now. =) Hmm, i'm already posted to a new place, well actually only the school changEd lor. Still in Pulau Tekong though. -_-''' And i'm in SISPEC. It's a place where we're trained to become sergeants and suff like that. Yup. Hmm lemme talk about what happened when i got to know my posting. It's like i was aiming to go to OCS or something like that. OCS is where pple become officers. And the thing i din want was SISPEC itself. Then when i got to know i got to SISPEC, my face changed from =) to =( right away. I was suuuuper depressed man. It's like i reeeally really din wanna get there. I dreaded it so much so much. My bleahness din just go away when i got in. but in the next few days, i heard from some people that " wah but if you get into OCS, a lot of your weekends will be burnt" and stuff like that. Then i came to realise, that maybe it was God after all, cause if i were to get into OCS, there'd be 9 months of really tough training, with lots of weekends too busy or can't come out. But for sispec, it's not so bad cause it's only 10 weeks. But if i do get into OCS (which is still possible) then hehe see how lor. =) So what i learned, is well, trust God lar. Though i still dun really like SISPEC a lot, it's much better than when i first got to know i got into SISPEC.

Well, i've been through 1 week of SISPEC already. How was it? Well 1st week isn't anything straining or too tough or whatever. Can handle kind. But the worst thing isn't physical punishments like push ups or whatever know. The worst is to serve extra duties or confinement. It's really scary. Plus i'm holding the appointment as the book in/book out IC, which means when pple book in or out got to sign a book which i'm in charge of. If anything's wrong with that, i'm like really dead kinda thing. So everyone out there, please pray for me k? To find favour in their eyes, and well, dun kena anything. =|
So anyone that doesn't like school, trust me, really. I know it's really bleah to just go school and face all the tEsts, homework, pple yOu dun like, teachers and what nots. But just imagine this k, imagine there was a school that keeps you in the school from monday to saturdays. And you can only come out on Saturday, and go back on sunday. besides that, from morning to night, you've got to study. Will you like it? Plus if say you forget to do homework, then they dun let you go home. wah, very scary right? Well, that's army life, but except homework becomes more like physical stuff. And our rooms gotta be super clean and everything also. So yar. Your school ain't keeping you back in school. You can go home. So enjoy your freedom. You might think "wah what freedom". Well trust me, going home itself is freedom. Guys, you'll know what it means when yOu get to army of that. Girls, well, really, just enjoy yourself. Love God, Love pple. =)

Last thing, all the best to those who are going to have their exams. =) Take carE pple. Till then.

-freedom-

Army life

2005-05-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

I figured i shouldn't let this blog die. not that it was a living thing to start with. hee. So well, i've already been in BMT for 3 weeks already, and well, time sure flies. I'm glad it flew cause if not it'd be really bleahz. Oh well.
Army is quite alright. It's what i expected it to be. Well, there were lotsa things i learnt during these 3 weeks, and God's really amazing as to how He shows His goodness to me in camp. I've also grown closer to God in camp.
Well, just some things to share. Any of you felt that things were unfair? Well i have, especially in the army. It's like if some1 commits a mistake, everyone gets punished. Or worst still, if some1 commits a mistake, they dun have to be punished, the ones that din do anything wrong has to be punished. Like what the heck? right? hahaz. But when i got all these crap, it is unfair, but if you just keep thinking "wah liew, so unfair lar~ How can like that? sheesh" then your mood will just be really lousy. But if you keep your eyes on God, even though it's unfair, your strength and motivation comes to please God, to remain righteous in what you do, and not follow the ways of the world. So yupz.
Church is actually a very sheltered place that has an atmosphere of love and care and all that. But in army, you can see the emptiness, the meaninglessness in people (even though they look really happy on the outside). So be happy that you have people that love you and care for you. I'm not saying there won't be any hurts or whatever, but don't dwell in it, have to pick yourself up, which is so possible because "If God is for us, who can be against us" and "The joy of the Lord is my strength", and go into the world to show people how much God loves them. It doesn't have to be "Thus says the Lord!" or whatever when yOu talk to people. But in your actions, in your speech, always be gracious and loving towards whoever you're talking to. They'll see the difference 1. Yupz.

Jia you soldiers of Christ~
(hee i'm literally 1. =p)

Army

2005-04-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

Haha as mOsT of yOu shOuld know by nOw, i'm leaving for army BMT (basic military training) this coming fridAy, 8th April. Thank yOu for missing me. But hey, seriously, i'm not going overseas or something. KK maybe i AM, cause it's across the sea to Pulau Tekong, haha, but i'll be back real soon, like 23rd of April or something and i'll be able to see yOu guys and girls le? I'll miss yoU all for 2 weeks, for sure. Well, just to reply thE sO mANy tags i had properly first. Here goes.

Natalie: Hehe, i talk lotsa rubbish hor? =P but hey thank yOu for so called enjoying what i say. Cause some pplE apparently don't. So thank yoU so so mUch. hEe. I wun be able to say all these funny stuff to yoU for 2 weeks, but hey, i'll be out real soon, so yupz. After that i'd be able to crack yoU up again. Hee, meanwhile, stay happy in God's love yar? Take care.

Abelle: Thanks fOr thE tAg. Hehe, Yuna's really pretty right? *points to the pretty girl at the top of the page* Well, 2 weeks wun be able take same bus as yOu and aza, so have fun on the wAY home and stay safe. it'll only be 2 weeks lar. =)

Patrina: Haha thanks for hello-ing me oncE in awhile. It's cool so see sOme1 tag even though it's just a hEllo. hee. Anyway, stay stronG and chEEry yAr? Got anythinG can always message me 1. TekonG also got reception. Hee.

Vanessa: Hey thanks foR tagginG mE onCE in awhile too. Hee. Cool stuff, do hmm stay strong even for the nExt 2 weeks yar. Take carEz.

Kay now not really for tags. But something i wanna say to some pEoplE since i wun be able to do it so often in the next 2 weeks. =)

Charles: Heyoo, dunO if yOu'll read, maybe i'll tell yOu to. =P Ah yah, anyway school start for yOu liaoz, army for me, gonna be busier, but hey can still go out 1 yar? hehe. Ah yah i'm not going anywhere far lar, not dying or what also. We'll still be in contact, so i dun have to say things like "stay in contact", just thought i'd take this chance to thAnk yOu for being a great friend since i dun usually say it. Hee. So thank yOu~ =)

Sherman: Hey Mr Sherman, 2 weeks of no crapping, finally some rest eh? Hahaz. =P K lar well, these 2 weeks just remembEr to practice your guitar wor. Remember what i've thought and what yoU've leArnt. Study hard wor. Got anything can message me lar yar? Only a mEssAGe away.

Yihui: hEllo great craftsman, k maybe craftswoman. WHy so? cause yOu mAKe so mUch stuff for yOur friends, and it's really nice. =) Well, we STILL haven play tennis together properly. I know i'd be thrased, but playng with good players are nice whaaat. anywAy, it's really nice having a friend like you. You're a great girl, and continue to grow in yOur love fOr God.

The wonderful and almost as crappy xiaohuli: Xiaohuli~ Haha see, even the name you gave me was so out of the blue. hahaz, Guo3 ran2 shi4 wo3 de4 hao3 tu'er. K i think i've said a lot of times lar, but i'll say it anywayz. =) firstly, THANK YOU~ Hahaz, it's amazing how i got to know you just by being crappy. If i din add you during the chatroom thingy, my life would be that much more boring during the late nights, or early morning hOwever yOu want to lOok at it. hahaz. Not only would it be more boring, but less meaningful too. heez. In any case, thanks for chasing me to bed, even though once in awhile i dun follow. hahaz, k lar only 1nce lar. =P Haha dun worry, i wun talk about me chasing you to bed, because i'd still be able to do that even in Army. =P In any case, i still have my phone k. remember ah, dun find me too ma fan since yOu said i can call. =P HEez. But anyway, thank yOu. I shan't say too much cause well, it's not like i'm going for good. So yupz. Take carE and study hARd~ =) oh you haven give me the letter. -_-''' hahaz. =)

Always and Forever

2005-03-25T01:36:00.000+08:00

"Jesus, I will live for You, in EVERYTHING I DO,

i'm holding on to You ALWAYS, always and forever

And when my world is Falling down In You i will be found,

i'm staying in Your arms today,

ALWAYS, always and forever"

in Everything i do: So what does that mean? it means our every action, in everything we say, in everything we act, how to behave, how to relate to people, how we live our life. It's easy to say "oh i live for you, everything i do i do it for you" and stuff like that. But let's put our words into practice. It's not easy i must say, but it's what i'm striving towards, putting what i sing into action. God looks at the heart, so keep trying. 1 thing that's easy to remember when you have to choose or whatever, is "will God be happy with what i do?" if it's a yes, Go for it~ If it's a duno, then don't to keep on the safe side lor. Why thread between the thin line of Yes and No when we can make a choice to stay on the safe side? =)

world is falling down, in You i will be found: When everything seems like crap, when people aren't treating you the way they should, or they way the should not, when circumstances seem to not have any hope, finding yourself in Him, what does it mean? Well, to me it's finding your worth in God, even when everything's happening, it doesn't matter if it's good or bad, cause at the end of the day, the really important thing that matters, is that God loves you soo soooo much and You, Yes YOU, are His child. =)

i'm staying in Your arms today: God's arms are always open wide. But it's whether we want to go to His loving embrace or not. The word "today" suggests that we make a choice to do it today, and not just dwell in our circumstance since we have the choice (although i admit sometimes it's just so hard to just go to Him) to stay in His arms, and not keep running away from it, TODAY.

ALWAYS, always and forever: well, it simply means, not just yesterday, not just today, not just tomorrow, but everyday~ "Take up the cross DAILY" yupz. just love Him everyday.

Who?

2005-03-20T00:32:00.000+08:00

Planet Shakers Conference was great eh? well, i thought God was even greater. Hmm something i learnt during the worship sessions, that can bE appliEd for whatever yOu do as a worship to God, be it ministry, schOol wOrk, CCA, or whateverz. It's like for me, for the 1st 2 days i was really tired after the whOle thing. i mean i thought it was good, but i was really tired. Din even really felt like joking or whatever even though i did joke. In any case, how to know if yOu're doinG things with God in mind, with God's joy as your strength, or with your own reserves which can be used up in a really short time?
Well, it's really simple, it's like if yOu are relying on God, things might still be tough, things might bE fun, or things are just plain blah, somehow you can just keep going, and somewhere deep in your heart, you know you will just do it cause yOu love God so much, having that Joy of the Lord fueling your actions.
If yOu're relyinG on yOur own strength, things might seem ok for a LITTLE while, but after that, everything yOu do will seem meaningless, tiring or just bleahed.
So if you feel really tired or what, maybe it's time to just put things aside and loOk to God again. Just focus on Him and just reach out to Him until you touch Him.

Remember, it's not about hype, it's not about duty, it's all about loving Jesus. So if that love is not there, all that you do will be meaningless since the reason is not there anymore, the reason to love.

Mark 12:30 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,
and with all your mind, and with all your strength"

And if you love Jesus, love what's on His heart too, His people.

Mark 12:31 "Love your neighbour as yourself"

I know it's hard to do so, but slowly and surely, if you love God, just ask God for that love, cause even i'm doing so. Jia yOu. =)

Learnt

2005-03-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

Hmm, some stuff i learnt the past week or sO.

The more you expect, the more disappointed you'll be if it doesn't hit what you expect

however, this is applied only in context of this world, God works differently in a lot of cases. ThE things i'm rEferinG to are things like say, rEsults, rElatiOnships, or the goals yOu have in mind. Well i'm nOt sayinG dOn't aim for it. Cause to aim for it and to expect the result is different. But somehow in our human psyche, it kinda just ties it in tOgEthEr. sO to not be disappointed, but to get the best results we can, expect nothing, aim for something. Maybe thAt's nOt 100% possible, but least to certain extents it is. And just try to reach that oh so far 100% of not expecting lor.

Wise Words

2005-03-04T10:29:00.000+08:00

Just a little continuation of the prEviOUs pOst abOut cOntEntmEnt in today's Singapore teenage context.

When busy, look forward

When bored, look backward.

Free

2005-02-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Some pEoplE likE my life now. Well, i like mine too. =P But do yoU likE yOurs? I mean most of yOu are schooling and stuff, and quite a numbEr dOn't like school or something. Or for others CCA. Well, when i was yOur age schoolinG and stuff, well yeah, i din really like it. But think about it, if there wasn't any school and stuff, your holidays and weekends won't be as enjoyable as it is now. It's something like only when yOu go through hardships, can yOu enJoY yOur freedom kinda thing. Well, through all these years, i've learnt to enjoy boredom, well sorta. Many pple also complain when thEy are bored. well, yOu should learn how to enjoy it, cause after that short period of time, it'd be thE hectic school life again. So if pple complain about both, don't yOu think it doesn't make sense? hehe. So for me, though i really am super free, i enjoy it cause i know life as a student is hard, more so when i get into army or when i stArt working in the future. So whatever timE thAt yOu have, be happy yOu have it. Bottom line is, be contented. If yOu keep hAving "this is so sian" or "wah so boring" kinda mentality, well of course it'd be not nice and bored since you're already thinkinG like that. Next point is hOw you think, and yOur attitude towards it. If you have a positive attitude, it'll be much easier on yOu when yOu face situations that aren't nice. It's not easy to have a positive attitude, but it sure is possible as loNg as we keep trying with God's strength and grace. Yupz.

Contentment, Positive Attitude

Tribute

2005-02-22T00:02:00.000+08:00

Tribue to Ivan Goh (sorta like a tribute lar)

Hey bro, time seem to pass so fast eh, a few months have passed sincE yOu came back. Reealy fast. Well, it was really really great having yOu back these few months. Although i'm not like super close to yOu or anything, i really do eNjOy yOur company, thE wAy yOu mAke pEopLE feel welcomed around yOu and stuff is really cool. A gift maybe? Well, and the ability to connect with people is also something yOu have, =) Well besides all these, i really admire yOur enthusiasm when yOu serve God, and that heart to just want to serve. That smile of yOurs that nEver really comes off fRom yOur fAcE is somethinG thAt mAkes yOu special too. It's really glad to be able to have yOu in the band when i'm leading worship and stuff, really fun eh doing Everybody Praise the Lord just a few days ago. Enjoyed the whole worship session thAt day jUst worshipping God. Thank yOu fOr thE advicEs and eNcouragement yOu gAvE while yOu were here or even when yOu were in New zEalAnd. Thank yOu. Keep cool and i'll see yOu sOon, online sooner, real life just that lil' bit longer. Take cArE, and thAnk yOu oncE again. =)

Praise The Lord

2005-02-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

Well, this MorninG rEAlly was nOt a really pleasant 1. But I din really elaborate on what happened. So i'll do it here. Hee. So in zE morniNG, i got woken up by a message. Man~ Though i changed phone, this phone's tone is super loud man. hahaz. So anyway, i got up and i wEnt online. Din haVe a very good experience online, (but now i'm okAy. =) ) , then my mum askEd mE to go ChAngi GenErAl HospitAl to bUy somE mEdiciNe for my grAndmOthEr, which was a bit what cause i just got up, then a lil' grumpy. I went anywAY. i Got thE stuff, and headed hOme. On my wAy back, i was like a bit bleah and stuff. So the sOng "Everybody Praise the Lord" jUst cAMe to my mind. Well i din sing out loud, but i just "played" it through my head lor. And well, yeah praising God does change things. =)
Imagine this, let's say our problem to us is like really big, say the size of the earth. Big enough? Hee, so yar, our problem is like "wah!!! hooow?? i feel sooooo crap. AH!! Help me!!" So if yOu keep lOokinG at thE problem, of course it'll seem daunting and discouraging and whatever. But when yOu focuS oN God, just picture this. Our problem is the size of the earth (woa big man), but God CREATED the earth, the stars, the EVERYTHING. He's like a gazillion times bigger and mightier than all of the problems we have, or might have. And whEN yOu lOOk to Him, that problem just seems so much smaller, cause yOu've a God that will see yOu through it.

If you want to imagine how big God is, Magnificient's a good song.

Who compares to You, who set the stars in their place

You who calm the raging seas, that came crashing over me

Who compares to You, You who bring the morning light,

The hope of all the earth, is rest assured in Your great love..

Yupz so that's all. Continue to Praise God~ =)

Random

2005-02-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

I think God's really really very amazing. Like for my Final Theory Test, i really thought i was going to fail it, but God was rEAlly really good, and He let me pass it! Really very glad to have passed that exam, cause though i did study, during the test a lot were those 50/50 chance 1. But somehow, got let me passed it! Praise God.
Then i kinda wanted to do relief teaching again. Cause i signed up for it when i was in VJC, then 2 schools called me, and i rejected them at that time cause i wanted to just play. But recently i wanted it again, and i tried applying online, but they refused my application!! So i was sad when they refused, and i was like thinking " Don't think other schools will call me liao lar, after i reject so many, dun think any school will call already ". But God proved His goodness and amazingness, and Teck Whye Sec School called me today! hahaz~ I mean though i din get the job in the end cause they wanted a chinese teacher. -_- and that thEY had to have soMe1 that coUld do it till june, i could not take it up. But the fact that another school called just reminded me that, with God, All things arE possible~

Luke 18:27 " What is impossible with man is possible with God "

Mark 10:27 " With God all things are possible "

So whenever any of yOu face any stuff that might seem daunting or just impossible to happen, just trust God yar? Not all times things might work the way yOu want it to be, but just trust God for who He is, cause He loves you a lot. =)

Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Sometimes those plans might not be what yoU like, but precisely in those times, yOu've gotta hang on to God even tighter and trust His love for yOu. And when yOu need strength, remember that,

2 Corinthians 12:9 " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"

Take carE and haVe a blEssEd wEEk ahead~ and happy vAlentinEs day. Hee. =)

TLW

2005-02-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

Hmm seems like ages sincE i updated. Hahaz. K Saturday was TLW eh? K TLW being "True Love Waits" service. Hehe, 19 hor? =P I gladly signed that card. lemme see, so it's only 1..2..years? Nah, more like just 6 more months beforE i can "officially" date if yOu want it to be really 19 before i can have a girlfriend. Hahaz. It seemed like forever when i was 14 or so when i first signed the 1st TLW card. At that point of time, 19 was like "when am i ever going to reach that age man" and it seemed so unrealistic and blah. In me i thought to myself " I'm not going to follow that age if i find some1 i really really like". Don't know how mAny of yOu feel this way, must be quite a lot huh? But as someone who JUST went thRoUgh it, lemme share a bit on how i feel, and just think abOut it kayz? =) SHeesh, makes me sound so old. =P

K i've never really had a Real girlfriend before, real being those holding hands kinda girlfriend. Some were online kinds, some were just crushes that never knew how i felt. I've always felt likE hOw nice it'd be with a girlfriend. Well, it sure is nice, but being so young, 14, 15, 16 or whatever age below 19, can you rEAlly say yoU can marry that perSon yOu likE? Do yoU really knOw what yOu want?
For me i always tried to put the persoN i likE into a moUld that made her look perfect, and i disregard all the bad points, which are actually there and are very real. And as i grew older, 1 of the girls i liked Actually likEd me back~ Amazing right? hahaz, never knew pple would like me. But anyway, i din become her boyfriend. Why? Cause our personalities din match. I forsaw that we would argue a lot if we werE tO bE tOgEtHEr. So i grew to understand that feelings were 1 thing, but being able to be togEthEr is another. So yoU'vE gotta be able to live with the bad points before doing anything, causE that persOn is how good he/she is, but is also as "bad" he/she is, well "bad" not beinG naughty or whatever, but the "bad" points he/she has. Yupz

And at this age, are you loOkinG foR a boyfriend/girlfriend, or arE yOu loOkinG for a futurE pArtnEr? If you're just loOkiNG for a fling, what's thE Point? Like why go through the pain and all thE SUpEr bLeAhed mOmEnts which is almost inevitable to happen? I went through crap periods. Like SUPER crap. It was terrible. Though i grew from it, it was a rEAlly really terrible period. I could have avoided that.

So i urge anyonE that's still yOunger than mE to think about it before yOu go around having girlfriends and boyfriends. Trust me on this, 98% of the time the steads yOu have nOw will not last yoU till yOu're married.
Of course yOu can have crushes and talk about them, that's pretty normal, but tryyyyyyyy not to get into a relatioNship so yOung yar? I talk about my crushes too what. =P So yUpz.
Here's wishing yOu all a Happy Chinese New Year~

Health

2005-02-03T21:10:00.000+08:00

" I want to get sick! " Ever felt like that before? Well i know a lot of you and even I have. FOr reasons like "ah yah don't want to go school leh" or " i wanna lose weight and skip school without playing truant!" or "Hope pple can come and visit me ". Or whatever the reason may be. BUT let me tell you this, DO NOT wish for that. Being sick is really reeeeeeeeeeeeally terrible. Like really terrible. Know why i din update my blog this past few days? Cause i was sick! No i din wear a turban, neither did i do SICKma bond cheers. I have nooooooo idea why, but on monday, for no reason whatsoever, i woke up with a fever. A very terrible 1. Felt like my head was gonna burst and my bOdy was gonna break down to bits. Like mad. Tuesday things got better, and no, i din play baseball, (baseball BATTER? =P ) but new problems came. I got diarrhoea and tummy aches. Man was it tough to handle 3 stuff at once. Weds was thE sAme. But today, wahahhaha, I finally recovered! So yar, it ain't cool nor is it wise to want to get sick, or whateverz. Same goes to those that diet excessively and stuff like that. It doesn't do you gOOd. Girls,, you all look great as yOu are. If not happy, excercise lor~ Not like dieting will help much right? =)

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 " Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the
Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have from God, and that you are not your own?
For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God with your body. "

You wouldn't want the Holy Spirit to live in an eeky and sick environment also right? (Besides when you really fall sick due to circumstances which you can't really control) So stay healthy peoplel~ =)

So Who is God?

2005-01-28T11:02:00.000+08:00

Went Pulau Ubin on Wednesday with a fEw of thE chUrch gUys to cAmp ovEr kindA thinG. Though there were no tents and stuff, but was cool. So anyway, After the stay, came bACk to mainland and stuff, and was a bit troubled cause my worship order was nOt oUt yEt. So i was like, "How??" So anyway, i went to church for some 3rd band practice kinda thing and there, when i was singing the all so familiar One Way, this time, one of the sEntEnces struck me.

"You will Never ever Change, Yesterday today the same"

Well, if God could deliver King David from the hands of his enemies, and at that time, David felt like

Psalm 25:11 "... forgive my iniquity, though it is great"

and that I have the same God as He had, i believe God can bring me through anything. The same applies for the rest of you. This God that we believe created the stars, the earth, everything, and He will never change, so just trust Him yar? =)

Why

2005-01-23T15:14:00.000+08:00

I'm sure all of us has asked the question "Why?" before. Whatever the Why is refering to, we all have at 1 point of time, asked that question before (not refering to academic wise). And it's something i'm asking now. I'm burdened by a few stuff. Like why must it happen to my friends? Why do people feel this way even when, Lord, You died for them? Can't they see how much You love them? Very burdened. No idea why.
But in the midst of all these questions. Can we still praise God? Like it might be you in a situation where everything sEEms off. Will you lOOk to yOur problems, or to your God?

Romans 8:28 "And in all circumstances, God works for the good of those who love Him;
who have been called according to His purpose"

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 " Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. "

I just felt to say this. Jesus loves you guys and girls a lot. Really. Imagine the burden i feel, or least you can feel for your friends and family. What more our Lord Jesus Christ? He loves you a lot.. a lot.

And he said father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry's
I thought I could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why?
Why does everyone want me to die?
When will I understand why?

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour
I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child (you..)
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why
She is why you must die

(Nicole Nordeman: Why)

Words

2005-01-20T14:11:00.000+08:00

Ever got angry? Well, duh. I have too. In this case, it wasn't me who gOt aNgRy. But some1 closE to me got reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally angry becausE of a very STUPID incident that happened yesterday which i shan't go into. But anyway, trust me, it was a stupid incident. And well, it takEs 2 hands to clap to make people gEt aNgRy. So anyway, please remember that in yOur anger, do not sin, or least do not let your uncontrollEd eMotiOns gEt tHE bEttEr of yOu.

Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do nOt givE thE dEvil a fOOthOld."

Words yoU don't really mean can sprout out VERY easily in anger, so please keep that in mind. You might nOt really mean it bUt it can hUrt pEoplE a lot. EspeciAlly if thE pErsOn is closE to yOu, or is a vEry sEnsitivE pErsOn.

Proverbs 15:4 "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life,
but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit"
Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit"

Tribute

2005-01-16T21:26:00.000+08:00

A tribute (sorta)

To Charlene: Hey charlene, though we din really talk today and stuff, but i just wanted to lEt yOu know, yOu've been a really great friend in my life. Like even though we weren't like super close or whateverz, there were times likE in camps and stuff that i could see the pampered side of yOu. =P But yeah, anyway, it's cool, and i think yOu're a great girl. Study hard over there kz? Take care of yourself and continuE to draw nearer to God EVERYDAY. =)

To Charmian: We've been in the sAMe cEll for like 4 years or so? hahaz last 2 years wEren't thE sAMe, bUt hey, it was really fun to have yOu in that old cell. Time sure flies, though foR yOu yOu've a possibility of staying, but still, i really wanna thank yOu and stuff. It was really really great to be ablE to sErvE with yOu in PNW for a few years back then, where it was so cool to just know what yOu will play and just play together~ Really really had fun back then. Besides all these, i'm very glad to see yOu grow in yoUr spiritual walk, it's really encouraging. So keep that humour and smartness of yOu and i hope to see yOu back a few mOnths later k? =)

Last but not the least (it's actually in order of when you girls left, which Cheryl was the latest),

To Cheryl: Moshi Moshi~ Hey girl, din talk to yOu much just a few moments ago, but well, here's what i wanna say. It was sorta like a Kai1 Bu4 Liao2 Kou3 kinda thing back there, plus there were swarms of friends jUst everywhere. Cheryl, though i've known yOu for only a short while, i'm really glad to hAVe knOwn yOu. Put aside your monosyllabic hAbit whEN yOu're online, i like talking to you. So anyway, i think you're a really really good girl. Like seriously, i really think so. You've got some values i am really impressed with, and yOu show as someone who loves God a lot. So do keep that closely to your heart kz? The song i sang must have been in a lot of the pple's hearts on how they feel, and to me, i really meant it. So yeah. Really happy to have known you. Do take care of yoursElf over there, and if yOu ever ever think of getting a webcam, must let me knoW k??? heez. I hope you'll come back Singapore, somehow, though chances are slim, but yeah.. Keep in contact.

Hmmm. Stuff

2005-01-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

The Phone woke me up in the morning, AGAIN! Remember the samsung phone episode? =P but this time it was a really sweet message at the right time. Cause i had driving lessOns in thE mOrning (which actually isn't a very good idea cause i'm sleeeeepy), and the message that rings forever wOkE me up at thE riGht tiME. Heez, Thanks Abby. =)

When you miss a bustop (or in my case, stopped before the right 1), and you're gonna be late, what do you do? ruN~ Which i did, but never did i expect that the lactic build up in my lEgs sincE thE Pasir Ris run (2nd time) was too mUch for me to handle. My legs were aching like mad when i reached thE cAr cEntrE. So lesson : Don't run too much when yOur lEgs aren't tuned up.
Spiritual Lesson: Giving is good, but giving too much without taking your rest in God and drawing strength from Him will burn you out really fast. So keep in check with God and love Him everyday. =)

Which leads me to my nExt point, while driving with aching legs, don't be nervous. Well, i was, and it surE wASn't fUn with thE cAr stAllinG twice on the road. With once not holding on to thE clutch bEforE startinG the car. -_- ''' (which will cause the car to jerk and move forward kinda in a nOt nicE way) So lesson : Don't be nervous while driving, and when starting car, remember to step on the clutch.
Spritual Lesson: Many times there are timEs where our "engines" stall, well, don't just stay there, start the "engine" and make sure the "clutch" is stepped on, the clutch being setting your focus on God, and when need help, ask your friends to help. Your "car" will move smoothly. =)

Up till now, i don't knOw if these are crap, but hope yOu guys understand. =)

Next up, while on the bus to VJC cell, was thinking about words. Ya know, words are really powerful, and how yOu use words, the tone, the choice of words, and the platform it is put across play a part in how the recepient of the word/phrase/sentence will interprete.

Choice of word: Be mindful of words you use. You might not mean any harm, but the choice of word can make a big difference. Scenario: If you mean no harm, and just wanna comment on how silly the person was.
1) So stupid~
2) So silly~
Well, 1) is a lot more demeaning and the word stupid itself has a really mean feel to it, while 2) is a lot more docile, and might even sound nice to some extent in other situations.

Tone: It's hard to give an example of it over here. But i hope yOu know. Yupz. Just take note of how you use the tone, and the lOudness. Makes a whole world of difference. In doubt just come and ask me for egs if yOu want. =P

Platform the words/phrase/sentences are made through: In today's world, generally there are 3 kinds of platform communication with peoplE is doNe through.
1: Face to Face
2: Phone
3: SMS/Internet

Face to Face: Best way of communication cause emotions, facial expressions, tone and feelings could bE fElt most easily through this.
Phone: Emotions could be hidden if wanted more easily, tone and feelings too. But still quite a good way to feel how thE pErsON is, and knOw what the person is talkiNG about.
SMS/Internet: Have to presEnt your messages in a very clear manner for the recepient to nOt misunderstand. Easy to conceal any emotions. Worst form of communication (to me) if emotional release is nEEded.

So just a word of caution when online or using SMS, use your words carefully, and punctuate with the appropriatE pUnctuatiOns to show the correct meaning.

Oh 1 more thing i thought of. Don't think too much. It's gOod to think about stuff, but only what's holy, good, edifying etc (ya noe that vErsE in the bible). Good to stimulate yOur brain too. BUT do not think unecessarily, cause it will distract you instead. Yup.

So yupz, that's what i thought of on the bus. K that's all folks. =)

Lessons

2005-01-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

Well, another day of no school. wokE uP at around 11. hahaz. think is yOur recess or soMething. =P Played gamE, then wEnt to town to pass EZ link card to ChEryl. Been using her card for hmm a week plus. Saved mE alot of mOney knoW~ THANK YOU Cheryl~ =) Hehez. So anyway, after that went livinG strings with sAMuel lOw and yihErn. Wah tell yOu ah, we met 2 guys who apparently were quite famous. hahaz. 1 was a guitAR coLlEctor who has around 100 plus top end guitars. Another was a famous guitar player in the early 70s or something. Oh well. Anyway, the shop owner (a superb guitar player) played the guitar. And i was *jaw dropped*. Superb noe. hahaz. Anyway, that was my day.

Things i learnt

Do more with less
(can be applied to lotsa situations)

Hmmm

2005-01-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

Shall start off talking about yesterday then today. =) So anyway, i wasn't really prepared prepared kinda thing for Service in the afternoon. Like the previous post, was really grumpy in the mOrninG. =P So yeah took off to church for practisE. Practised the songs and stuff. Well yeah so service started. Hahaz, guess i'm still not too good at getting peoplE's attEntiOn yet. So started off with pEoplE really scattered and only after around the 1st half of the song did everyonE sEttled. So yeahz. Was abit bleahzz. But anyway, worship cOntinuEd. =) And as it progressed, i was really really moved, well by God. Especially during Magnificient, though it was it full out thing, i kinda realised how awesome, how BIG and hOw woNdErfuL my God was. Magnificient wasn't enough to express hOw God is, bUt we(man) only have such words, so oh Well.

"You are Magnificient, Eternally, Wonderful, Glorious, Jesus no one ever will(and can) compare, to You Jesus"

So it's like i was lost in worship. Love You my wonderful and woooo hoooo Dad~ =)

K lar today also nOthinG much. Had soccer match. I played really badly. Think my fitness has gone down another million knOtchEs. Hmm, really have to work on it. hehe Ganbatte to me~ =P K mOnday tomorrow. Have fUn in schOol pEoplE. Feel free to call/msg me since i'm so free. Hehez. Smile lotz~

Grumpy

2005-01-08T10:29:00.000+08:00

Morning. Ya know, i get REALLY grumpy in the mornings. I have no idea why i'm sooOoo gRumPy, but i am. More sO whEN i just get wokEn up by my mum or worst still, mEssages. Please let mE rEmind all the lovEly pEoplE out there, that samsung phones, whenever they receive A message, it will ring FOREVER until i read the message. Being not a too heavy sleepy, i get wokEn up by these mEssages, which i realllllllllllllllly don't like, and will get really bleahed about it. And by the way, i on my phone through the night fOr sOme reasoNs, so it's nOt likE i don't want to switch it off oR anythinG. Maybe i can bE 1 of thE sEven dWArvEs already.. =P
In any case, driving was kinda fun yEsterday, i got unto the REAL road already~ Hahaz, was driving at 40 plus an hour~ Okay, that's kinda slow actually, but to me it's quite fast larZ~ So yeah.
Ya know, as people get older, they tEnd to think more, or so i think. But whatever questions they might be, whatever trials that you face, always keep this in mind. How on fire and in love you were in your youth,

Ecclesiastes 12:1 " Remember the creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, ' I find no pleasure in them' - "

Reminder

2005-01-06T01:17:00.000+08:00

Decided to not leave my blog dead. So here goes. =) Had driving lessons agaiN~ After thE lOng break causE of The Christmas Story practices and stuff. Was cool to be able to drive again. Not that i like it or something, but now beginning to gEt a hANg of it.
Well, and God kinda reminded me something, and thought i'd share to hope to encourage some of yOu that miGht fEEl thE sAMe as mE sOmetimEs. =)
It's like past 2 days or so, was kinda down and stuff due to the problEM of unappreciation and stuff. It's like the feeling of "Why i do so much, i get so little from my friends? I mean can't they like respond?" and trust me, on my part, I try to give to quite a few in recent periods, but get little in return from them. So kinda disappointed. Then a friend messaged me this verse that was from

Isaiah 58:11 " The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden. "

So I was encouraged by that. And the next day, which is actually Wednesday, yesterday that is, i was on my way back home from driving lessons. And suddenly, it just came to me, from God, that " Do i really have to receive anything from my friends? " Not that that's bad, but it's more of a, " I care for them, and as long as they're blessed by what i do, that's enough cause i love them " Cause that's the extent of how God loves us, unconditional love.
Let's strive for it. =)

Running

2005-01-04T02:42:00.000+08:00

It's now 2.43am. Guess what i just did? Hahaz, i jUSt rAn thE whOle of Pasir Ris!! It sure was tiring. No joke man, not that i had no breath kinda thing, but it was more liKE mY lEgs fElt likE they wEigh tOnnes after i ran to the other side of Pasir Ris. Phew. But it was good. EverytimE i'm down i just go running nowadays. Inspired by Aza during the school hOlidays. Hehe, and i thank her fOr that. Heez. Everyone's starting school but i'm not, felt nostalgic when i took my bus to school yesterday for a mOrniNG prAYer mEEting. Oh well, shall just look forward to what's ahead. Haha, so duh, the thing's ahead, of course have to loOk forward lar! =P Well then, kids, do study hard and have fun in school yar? =) lotz~

Finally

2005-01-03T17:20:00.000+08:00

Ya know, it's finally done. I'm soooooo hAppy with thE site. woO hOO~ Anyway, the wOrds and sEntEnces mean something. Why not you guys think what it means? If yOu really don't know, you can ask me. It's kinda meaningful, i think. Least to me it is. =) So yup, that'd be it for now.
Blog's done~ wahhahahha. so nice and pretty. =)

It's the morning

2005-01-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

Finally. you get it? finally? like woo hoo! i spent hours just to post this wonderful picture. wahhahha!!!!!!! HAppy i Am. weEEe~