Today's a monday. Most people are either mugging, in school studying (or falling asleep), or working. But here i am at home. No i'm not slacking. I'm resting. Hehehe. And i want to thank God so much for this time of rest. Cause i'm enjoying ever single moment of it. Some people can't stand "not doing anything" or "slacking", but i thank God for the gift of being able to enjoy simple things in life.
At this point, i really enjoy my life. Not just cause i have been resting and enjoying myself. But because i'm loving spending time with God. i don't know how, i think it was a build up of events, from the start of NLE, up to Taiwan mission trip, until i came back. Gradually, i was drawn to God more and more. Don't ask me how, i think it's the grace of God that brought me here. And i'm enjoying every moment i spend with Him. I'm beginning to feel His presence so much more. I'm beginning to hear His voice more clearly. But this isn't the end. I believe it's just the start of what's more to come, and i really can't wait for it!
What i did realise and learn, was that, to enjoy the intimate relationship with God, i think we have to start by leaving our baggages and our sin behind. Not that it's just a *wave magical wand* and *poof* baggages and strongholds of sin in your life disappear. But it has to start somewhere. Personally for me, i think it was forgiveness that held an uber stronghold in me. It led me to be insecure (not that i'm super secure now, but i'm happy to be who i am now, and learning to love myself more as God wanted me to), and also had strongholds on other things. Sin a lot of times are result of the baggages we carry. From the book, entitled "It came from within" by Andy Stanley, it talks about 4 monsters we might have in our hearts. Primarily Guilt, Anger, Greed and Jealousy. And usually these 4 monsters make it really hard for us to really come back to the intimate relationship with God. Cause either it affects us so much we can't be intimate with Him, or it leads us into sin, which also causes us to not be able to draw close to Him. Only when we have the fear of God, can we draw close to Him, and sin doesn't allow us to fear Him. So this day, what's holding you back? Are you asking things like "i want to be close to God, but why don't i have the desire?", "i don't want to do this, but why do i keep falling into it over and over again?", "i don't wanna feel this way, why does it keep coming back?!", "i really want to be close to you God, but why can't i feel you? why don't i 'enjoy' it? ". If those are what you're going through, deal with the monsters from within first. I recommend that book, i think it'll help. So yeah. =)
And now i can roughly understand what it meant to "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be unto you". Or when Solomon actually wrote, "Meaningless, Meaningless, utterly meaningless! everything's meaningless!". You might wonder, what's the relation between these 2 verses. Well, i'll talk about what King Solomon said first. Now i really realise, that without God, really my life would be so meaningless. It is when i'm in His presence that i feel so loved, so alive, so real, and words just can't explain the things i feel. And when i seeked more of Him, He blessed me with "these things shall be added unto you". Simple things like being more confident in my ministry, leadership, having fun with friends, being contented. I'm not saying i'm the best at these things, but i'm growing more and more in it.
To whoever reads this blog, you might say "But hey, you're a worship leader leh. You have so much going for you, of course you can say such things about God lar. How bad can your life be man..." True, i might have some things that have been good for me in human terms, but i had my struggles too, and it was for year after years, before i can say i really enjoying being in His presence. It wasn't easy. Some of you might also say "You don't know what i'm going through". Yeah, you're right. I might not know what you're going through. Whatever you went through, or are going through, might even be valid reasons for you to feel the way you feel. But how long do you want to be kept imprisoned by it? It's your choice. You might think "but i dun have a choice!", well i'm here to say, You do have a choice. So choose to come out from where you are today, and be where God wants you to be. "How?" You start by making a choice first. Seek help. Get rid of the monsters in you.
I wish all a good life! Hoho
The heavenly voice was heard at
2:31 PM
My Friends
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